Your Big Why
The most important part of setting your goals is understanding why you want to do it.
Wanting the next shiny thing just to have it, isn’t going to be enough to keep you focused on your goals… You need to get emotionally attached to what you want.
If your big why is to leave a legacy for your children and your grandchildren, consider this… The rich kids that are left with money spend their time blowing it.
The rich kids that are left with money and a purpose do extraordinary things. In your pursuit of success, have a purpose that’s larger than you and your children will follow in your example.
To give you an example, my “big why” is to help other people realize and pursue their own full potential. That passion has driven me to sell real estate, start my networking group and has influenced how I approach life.
You Will Never Exceed Your Goals
We’ve all heard the saying “we overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in a lifetime.”
When you’re setting your goals, reach.
When you think you’ve gone as far as you can, stretch a little further.
You will only get as far as you set your sights so forget about disappointment or not reaching your goals.
Your brain is a processing machine, not a memory machine. A goal that you don’t write down is just an idea.
Understand Your Pains and Pleasure
Don’t scroll any further until you answer this question…
Think of a goal that you have right now…
Now tell me, what would happen if you didn’t achieve it?
During the last goal planning workshop I did, I asked them that same question and almost everyone answered with some variation of either “I would be glad that I tried so I wouldn’t be disappointed in myself” or “I would just try again”.
Almost every decision that we make is based on this concept of ‘pain vs. pleasure’. We’re either moving away from pain or towards pleasure.
Of the two, which do you think people do more often?
If you said moving towards pleasure…
It’s actually the opposite.
We spend more time moving away from pain than we do moving towards pleasure.
Think of it this way… Moving towards pleasure would be to focus on having the body that you’re looking for (we’re going to use that as an example because most people can relate to it), you know what it takes to get there.
You know you have to eat healthy and go to the gym… So you would have to go through pain to get to the pleasure and as such, you avoid going to the gym.
Why is this important?
Well, on this goal planning journey, there is going to be a whole lot of pain that you’ll have to go through to get to the pleasure. Change only happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing, so you have to put pain behind not achieving your goal. If you’re setting goals without putting any emotion behind them, that’s why you’re not achieving them.
Think about what the worst things that you can about if you didn’t achieve your goal. That’s the only way to make the pain of staying the same worse than the pain of changing.
How would you feel if you’re in the exact same place five years from now that you are today?
Would your significant other stay with you?
Will it kill you if you didn’t change?
Seriously, think about it. Make it hurt. That will motivate you to be willing to change.
This idea of pain vs. pleasure is also important to understand so that when you find yourself moving away from the pain, you can go back to focusing on your big why.
Take Extreme Ownership
We live in a society where we believe that everything happens to us rather than happening for us. We are victims of our own lives.
Instead, we’re going to flip that on it’s head and focus on taking extreme ownership. That means that you have complete control over everything that happens in your life.
That means that if you are running late, it wasn’t the fault of traffic. It was your responsibility because you didn’t account for traffic.
While that doesn’t sound like fun, it’s incredibly freeing when you start taking ownership. It allows you to be confident that there is always a solution rather than dwelling on the problems.
That also means that your success or failure is completely in your hands. With that said, let’s talk about taking massive action.
We rarely put in 100% of our effort in anything that we do. Can you relate to that? Even when we say we’re trying, it’s not our absolute best. In fact, one of my favorite videos talks about exactly this:
So while we’re ramping up to get started on our goal planning journey, let’s get in this mindset of extreme ownership.
Fall In Love With The Journey
The last thing I want to leave you with is that success is a journey, not a destination. Learn to love the process of becoming successful and to embrace the person that you become on the journey and get ready to fail… a lot.
Fail fast and learn from it so that you can fail forward.
For right now, don’t think about the how of your goals. Think of yourself as a tree. You have to have strong roots before you can bear leaves.
Too many people are focused on having what successful people have so they can do what successful people do and then they think they can be like successful people.
In all reality, that’s completely backwards. Be like successful people – adopt their mindset and follow in their footsteps, then do what they do – read, learn and grow. On that journey, you will eventually have what they have. You don’t get to have what they have until you become someone who thinks like a successful person.