Want to know the fastest way to lose a potential client or customer?
Build zero rapport, learn nothing about them and then try to force a sale on them.
By tapping into the way buyers think, you can refine your messaging so that you remove the objections they’d have to buying from you or working with you…. BEFORE the objection comes up.
Notice, I said messaging not marketing.
Marketing is all about you (sorry to tell you, but they don’t care about you) while messaging is all about them (and how you can help them).Marketing is all about you (sorry to tell you, but they don't care about you) while messaging is all about them (and how you can help them). Click To Tweet
Before we get into the six strategies, I want you to write both of these quotes down
Logic makes us think, emotion makes us act.
Everyone wants to buy but no one wants to be sold.Logic makes us think, emotion makes us act. Click To Tweet Everyone wants to buy but no one wants to be sold. Click To Tweet
Here’s why those two matter…
Firstly, if you cater to their logic, they might go, “yea, that makes sense”… and they might bookmark it to come back to and they’ll probably end up forgetting.
If you can get them to feel and cater to their emotions, you’re taking them to “emotion island” and getting them to NEED whatever it is you have to offer.
So, how do you cater to their emotions and get them to take action?
By tapping into buyer psychology.
Before we get started, there’s a ton of info here that you’ll want to make sure you’re using while you’re creating your marketing.
Keep it in front of you while you’re creating your marketing and messaging to make sure that you’re leveraging buyer psychology at the highest level so you can increase conversions.
Download the psychology hacks cheat sheet in our online academy:
1. Watch Your Tone
Let’s be clear.
You’re not going to get everyone to work with you.
No matter how smart, talented, qualified, well-spoken or prepared you are, there will be some people who won’t work with you simply because they don’t like you.
Stop trying to sell to the people who won’t do business with you and focus on loving the people who DO want to do business with you.Marketing is all about you (sorry to tell you, but they don't care about you) while messaging is all about them (and how you can help them). Click To Tweet
How do you want your audience to perceive you?
Will you be…
Professional and serious?
Formal and corporate?
Funny and approachable?
The answer: be yourself.
Zig Ziglar says, “you can’t be one kind of sales person and another kind of person”.
It’s impossible to build trust when you’re inauthentic.
I hear about wayyyy too many people (and see wayyyy too many memes) about people being one way at work and a totally different person in their normal life.
Hate to break it to you but you’re not Denzel Washington, so people see through your acting.
Your writing style should be VERY similar to your regular conversation style so that when people met you, they feel like they already know you and are connected to you.
By nature, I speak “matter of factly” with high energy, use a ton of metaphors for everything, I’m not afraid to be vulnerable and tell personal stories anddd I usually say the thing that people are like, “did she really just say that?!” (hey, I call it tough love).
I also bold or italicize certain words for emphasis, to make my writing sound like the way I speak.
The tone and style that I have when I write has evolved over the last five years into this and now, I find…
- It resonates with my audience… They appreciate the fact that it’s not written like a college essay (even though my blog posts are always notoriously long) and if I can get them to keep coming back to read, I can keep them engaged.
- When I meet the people who read my blogs, social media posts and newsletters, they almost always say they feel like they already know me. It’s all about building a connection with them.
… and when you can connect with them AND keep them engaged, you’ve got them ready to take action.When you can connect with them AND keep them engaged, you've got them ready to take action. Click To Tweet
2. Eliminate Indecision With Pain vs. Pleasure
(That sounds kinky, I know ?)
In every decision that we make, we’re either moving away from pain or towards pleasure.
… and which do you think we do more often?
If you said moving towards pleasure, you my friend, would be wrong.
We are usually moving away from pain.
If you are (or have been) in sales, you’re probably way more familiar with this concept than you realize…
You know what the number one most hated part of sales is?
Ya know, the unsexy form of finding new business.
(Did you just shutter at the thought?)
You already know that if you want to sell more, you need to talk to more people.
Now, if we were driven by pleasure, we’d be super motivated to talk to more people because it would get us closer to our goals.
Instead, most sales people literally do every single thing in the world except make those contacts because prospecting is painful, requires reaction and all of the other things we don’t like to do.
Pain is concrete, present and real.
Pleasure is abstract and off in the distance.
Need another example? Have you ever seen adults do any activity together?
Most people want to win (pleasure) but if they don’t, they’re fine… So long as they’re not last place (pain).
Pain is a powerful motivator.
Not to mention, we’re naturally skeptical beings.
When you try to sell someone on the awesomeness of your product or service, their first instinct is to shut down, push you away and repel you because remember, everyone wants to buy but no one want to be sold.
… So stop trying to tell them how awesome you are.
Instead, understand their pain points, dig in and show them how you can help them overcome them.
Our first instinct when we’re selling is to go like this…
“My product is awesome because it will help you lose 30 pounds in 30 days.”
“I can help you get more productivity out of your team”.
Both of those are pleasure based and they sound like we’re being sold.
Be the solution to their problem
“Feeling like those last 30 pounds JUST won’t go away? I know the feeling. The on again off again dieting isn’t working and you KNOW you’ve got this killer body under that spare tire… Isn’t it time you get off the wagon and finally slip on that polka dot bikini at the beach?”
I know what you’re thinking… “I could NEVER say that!”
You don’t have to be that harsh, but I wanted to illustrate the point.
“My product is awesome because it will help you lose 30 pounds in 30 days” – not emotional
Appealing to their logic makes them go “that’s what every other product I’ve bought says. Not falling for that again.”
Butttt… “Feeling like those last 30 pounds JUST won’t go away? I know the feeling. The on again off again dieting isn’t working and you KNOW you’ve got this killer body under that spare tire… Isn’t it time you get off the wagon and finally slip on that polka dot bikini at the beach… or are you going to wait ?” – emotional
It paints a picture and gets them to go “how do you know my life?! Take my money!”
Oh, and you know those reallyyyyy stubborn prospects who are just so set in their ways that it would take a miracle to change their mind?
That’s because when they buy you, your product or your service, it requires the prospect to change.
How To Get People To Change, Even If They Don’t Want To
Our brains REALLY don’t like change.
… and some people take pride in the fact that they are natural skeptics.
In fact, our brains treat change like an attack.
Can you force someone to change?
… but the only way to get them to change is to show then that the pain of staying the same is GREATER than the pain of changing.
Knowing that this is how our brains work, make those pains hurt and offer a way out.
Ready to put this to work?
3. Upgrade Your Stories with SUCCES
In the book Made To Stick, Dan Heath uses the acronym SUCCES to help us make our ideas “sticky”.
By making sure that your messaging is aligned with SUCCES, you can get your clients and customers to remember you and take action.
As professionals, we have a tendency to try to overcomplicate everythinggggg as if simple isn’t good enough.
We’re like, “it has to be more complicated than this! What’s the magical secret?”
Here’s the magical secret you’ve been looking for… You ready?
The person who can make complexity simple is the one who wins.
With attention spans shorter than ever, messaging needs to be simple enough to remember and be memorable.
If you overwhelm your network, you’re not showing them how knowledgeable you are, you’re only leading them headfirst into analysis paralysis (you know, where they’re so overwhelmed with information that they can’t make ad decision).
Keep your information simple, direct and to the point and focus on communicating one idea at a time, not trying to share twenty different things at once.
Apple’s iPhone X Face ID commercial is the PERFECT example of simple…
It focuses on ONE concept and builds a whole story about that one thing.
After seeing it, you clearly get the point.
You know when you see a video on Facebook that’s captioned with something like “well that escalated quickly”, “I didn’t expect that”, or “watch til the end”?
Yup, those get shared because they took your expectations and flipped them on it’s head.
We lead through life with soooo many assumptions, so when you can make someone go “wait, that’s not what I thought was going to happen”, you have their attention.
Need an example?
Here you go:
Don’t speak in general terms.
Instead of saying “people tend to…”, use an example like “I had a client who ___ and here’s what happened…”
Paint a picture in their minds of a specific scenario rather than being vague and giving generic information that they can find on google.
When you talk about concepts that require them to think, compare it to something that they can understand.
Here’s a perfect example…
When you think about the size of the Earth, you know it’s big… but how big is it actually?
After watching this, you’ll realize how small and meaningless your problems actually are.
Have you seen or heard this before?
Fun fact… The NSEA doesn’t even exist and this study has never actually been recorded.
Why does it get shared?
Because it sounds legit.
You can make your ideas and messaging credible in ways other than statistics and titles… and that starts with having concrete ideas as mentioned above.
Buttt my favorite way to establish credibility is with social proof.
You don’t have to do the bragging on your own… Let your network, clients and other people tell their story for you.
More specifically, my favorite way to build social proof is through making introductions
When you use social proof, be specific with the results.
Instead of, “I helped ___ save 20% on their expenses last year”.
“We helped ___ give their employees 10 hours per week of productive time back which in turn doubled their sales for the year”.
If you remember earlier, we talked about how logic makes us think and emotion makes us act.
When you communicate with your network, make them feel.
In addition to the other quotes throughout this article, write this one down: they may forget what you said but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.
If you can make them feel, you can get them to act.
You know I have examples for dayssss, so watch this and tell me you don’t feel something when you’re done.
Heads up: this is a campaign against texting and driving and is graphic. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
You didn’t get this far in the post to learn for the sake of learning…
You got this far because you plan to implement this into your business… but you know as well as I do that when you click away from this post, you’ll forget almost everything you learned and you’ll be wishing you had bookmarked the post.
Instead, get your free cheat sheet to keep in front of you while you’re creating your marketing and messaging.
Download the psychology hacks cheat sheet in our online academy:
4. Earn Credibility With The 311
There is absolutely nothing in this world that irks my soul more than when I get a message from a random person asking for access to my network.
I worked my butt off to build it so I’m not giving it away for free.
That’s not because I’m a taker, it’s because I’ve built a ton of capital with these people and if I give you access to them, you’re a direct reflection of me… If I don’t know you, how do I know that you’re not going to screw over my people?
I don’t. That’s exactly my point.
Soooo, when you’re trying to build credibility quickly, use this little formula… It works wonders!
I call it the 311. You give 3 times, offer social proof and then deliver your ask.
This model can be used in any frequency (daily, weekly, monthly, etc) with any delivery method which I’ve talked about in these two posts:
Give at LEAST 3 times before you even THINK about asking.
Your “gives” should be valuable to your prospect.
I say it all the time but I’m not sure if I’ve actually written it into a blog post, so I’m going to plaster it right here:
No matter how valuable you think your item of value is, if it’s not relevant to the recipient, IT. IS. SPAM.No matter how valuable you think your item of value is, if it's not relevant to the recipient, IT. IS. SPAM. Click To Tweet
If you went to the doctor for a headache and they started sending you emails about foot problems, you’d probably be like “wtf, does this guy even listen?!”
I specifically bring this up because the question I ALWAYS get about items of value is if they need to customize it to every single person.
The answer is no… but you do need to customize it to your target groups.
I have four follow-up campaigns for each of the people who come into my life: buyers, sellers, MEB members and generic networking contacts.
When someone raises their hand and tells me they want to buy or sell a home, I have worksheets that I snail mail to them, a 10-day email series that gives them alllll the info they need to know to go through the buying and selling process and I’ll call them a few times.
When I first started doing this, I thought they’d hate me for how much follow-up I do… but it turns out they love it and since I started doing that, they convert faster too. I give a high level overview of my follow-up process in this post:
Anddddd if you want to get wayyyy more into detail about each of the plans, there’s a whole 90 minute workshop about it in our Empire Builder Academy right here:
Your items of value can be pretty much anything that’s relevant to them, but streamline the process so your email templates are already created, print the mailings and be prepared with stamps and envelopes, know what you’re going to say when you make the call.
Here are just a few of my favorite ways to offer items of value:
- Funny or memorable behind the scenes of realtor life and leading MEB
- Property previews (because America is addicted to HGTV). I always say my property previews are like “HGTV except in neighborhoods you know”.
- Making introductions
- Offering my vendor list
- Handwritten note cards that make people smile
- Checklists, worksheets and downloads
- Written articles/videos to answer the FAQs for their situation (THERE IS A CAVEAT: This content should be fun, bring in your personality or interesting to engage with… Not just the run of the mill stuff they can google)
If you’re the type of sales person who’s constantly posting your product or pictures of yourself like “call me when you need a ___”, don’t be surprised if you’re not getting the results you’re looking for.
Instead, work on implementing a few of these tips in your items of value…
Educate, inspire or entertain them.
Make them feel something.
Don’t forget to cater to those pain points and offer a solution for them.
Your content should be so good that it makes them feel compelled to stop scrolling and tell someone else about it (ahem, shameless plug: if you think this post is epic, please share it and leave a comment below!)
If you want bonus points, align your giving with SUCCES and you’ll steal mindshare in their brains forever.
Offer social proof
Repeat after me: Social proof is your best friend.
Remember in #1 when we talked about how people don’t believe you if you tell them how awesome you are?
If they hear about how awesome you are from one other person, they might believe it.
If they start hearing it from EVERYONE, they hit a tipping point and buy in.
OTHER people who tell them how awesome you are.
Your social proof can come in the form of screenshots of concrete results, testimonials (video testimonials are my favorite because they have the most impact), shouting out other customers, showing the press your brand or company has received.
You see where I’m going with this, right?
Nobody likes to be the first, so show them that someone else has already done it AND that they’re happy with their decision to work with you.
Deliver Your Ask
Nowwwww you’ve earned the right to ask.
By the time you deliver your ask, you’ve shown them that you know what you’re talking about, you’ve made them feel something and you’ve shown them that other people are happy with their decision to do the thing that you want them to do too… So when you DO ask, your ‘in’ is easier and your objections will come a little softer.
With this approach, it’s not even like you’re selling them… You’re making an offer and if they’re ready to receive it, they will, with open arms.
Just don’t be afraid to go for the ask.
If you’re just creating the messaging without giving them something to do, the skeptics are going to question your authority and those that are interested are going to be left wanting more without anywhere to go so you’re doing them a favor by delivering your ask because it’s the ‘next logical step’.
5. Overcome Objections With 3 F-Words
Let’s be honest…
When you’re selling something, there’s only so many objections that they could possibly give you.
“I can’t afford it!”
“Your commission/fee is too high!”
“I don’t need to hire you, I can do it myself!”
… and every industry will have a few others that are specific to their industry.
This little recipe is MAGICAL for overcoming those objections.
Ready for it?
Here’s how it goes:
“I totally understand how you feel (relate). ___ felt (relate) the same way until they found out ____ (change their perspective)”.
So, since I’m in real estate, I’m going to use a real estate exmaple here…
A lot of millennials are terrified to buy a house because they have commitment issues and don’t want to be tied down to one place forever.
So here’s my little recipe for that…
First, I would ask why they’re thinking about buying a house to start with.
Most of them will say something like, “I’m tired of throwing away money on rent and I want to start building equity in something of my own.”
Soooo, I would say something like this…
“I totally understand how you feel. I’ve worked with a lot of buyers who felt the same way until they found out that the average person only lives in their home for 5-9 years, and if they decided to rent it out, they’d have the ability to do that which would actually help them achieve their wealth building goals faster than spending another couple of years renting. Can you relate to that?”
Boom. Mic drop.
6. Build Rapport By Listening Better
All five of the first strategies work… and they all have one ESSENTIAL element in common.
To do them effectively, you have to listen…
Listen for what they’re saying beneath the surface.
Listen to their critiques.
Listen to what they’re not saying.
Their initial question or problem isn’t usually the actual question that’s holding them back or stopping them from working with you.
And whatever you do, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CLARIFY.
My two favorite ways of getting them to the root of their struggle is to ask, “so what’s the real challenge here?” and then following-up with “so what I’m hearing, and stop me if I’m wrong, is ____.”
Nine times out of ten, they’re going to be like, “yes! Thank you! I was trying to figure out how to ask that.”
Not only are you showing them you actually listen but you can get straight to the core of their question, rather than dancing around it and hopefully touching on it in your long winded answer.
Oh, and then you have another question to answer in a shareable format like a blog or email newsletter for your future leads.
Ready to put this into action?
Download the psychology hacks cheat sheet in our online academy: