How To Nurture + Grow Your Network With Social Media

At it’s core, networking is simply building relationships and seeking opportunities from those relationships.

[bctt tweet=”At it’s core, networking is simply building relationships and seeking opportunities from those relationships.” username=”millennialeb”]

With that in mind, networking doesn’t have to mean attending events and slinging business cards if that’s not your style… You can totally do it online.

You’re still going to have to reach out and connect with people, you’re still going to have to nurture those relationships and you’re still going to have to be consistent.

You know the saying, “the harder I work, the luckier I get”?

Since you’re an empire builder, you’re here to create our own luck… and with a rock solid strategy and consistency, you’re going to be as lucky as a happy little leprechaun at the end of a rainbow by following this strategy.

So just to reiterate and be crazy clear, if you decide to focus your networking on social media, you’re still going to have to actually talk to people with intention and consistency.

I know, shocker.

Let’s get started…

 

Stating The Obvious: Clean Up Your Image

Ok, you’re a young professional so you know this already.

… but do you?

If you’re going to use social media for business, your profile should make you seem like a person who loves their life and what they do for a living.

No, you don’t need to be perfect, but you should be a human with good vibes…

Not a brand that’s force feeding a product.

Be someone who people want to engage with, go back through that profile picture album and delete the old pictures from back in ’08 where you were partying a littleeee too hard and those ’03 MySpace pictures of your mirror selfies.

Make your default picture YOU, not your brand and be sure that if someone scrolls through your feed, they’ll see a real, live person, not a brand force feeding their spammy product.

People like connecting with PEOPLE.

… And don’t forget to update your about section!

Make sure what you do is updated, your bio, relationship status, the whole nine.

By all means, show yourself having fun, just make sure that every part of your image is curated to the message you’re trying to deliver to your audience.

 

Decide Who To Connect With

Whether you decide to focus on networking using social media or in person, you need to figure out why you’re networking.

[bctt tweet=”Whether you decide to focus on networking using social media or in person, you need to figure out why you’re networking.” username=”millennialeb”]

Without a solid why, you’re going to be bouncing person to person, wondering why opportunities aren’t just falling into your lap.

Here’s a hint: knowing your ask means you are keenly aware of parallel opportunities that might not directly tie in with your goal but will get you a step closer… and that’s what often happens with networking.

 

What’s Your Goal?

When I go to a networking event, I have a very specific goal in mind…

That’s to have three great conversations where it ends with a follow-up and their full contact information… and if we’re taking that a step further, I go to two events per week which totals six new contacts to my database every week.

One of the laws of networking is to feed your database every day, so this is one of the ways I do that.

Over a span of a year, I’ll add 300 people to my network that I’ve built solid relationships with.

In real estate, for every 6 people who you communicate with in a systematic, consistent way, you should get 1 deal out of it.

So every week, I’m adding a future deal to my pipeline.

You can have a similar goal with social media and focus on turning a specific number of “friends” into actual connections where you take the conversation offline and bring it to real life…. but you have to know why you’re doing it before you can figure out “the who”.

 

Who Can Help You Get There?

Listen, this question comes with a grain of salt.

Building your network is going to be like a spiderweb… You never know who you’re going to meet.

That’s part of the fun.

HOWEVER…

Understanding the type of people you want to meet will help you strategically place yourself in the right rooms at the right time to have the right conversations.

[bctt tweet=”Understanding the type of people you want to meet will help you strategically place yourself in the right rooms at the right time to have the right conversations.” username=”millennialeb”]

For me, my target real estate client AND target member for MEB is a young professional, usually between 27-35, who makes $75k+ per year.

My average sales price for real estate is about $300k, so young professionals who make about $75k will generally be somewhere in that range or higher (if they have a partner they’re buying with) AND they’ll generally have friends and family that are in a similar financial situation.

In addition, that audience is also pretty similar for our MEB members so my focus is ALWAYS on finding and building relationships with my target audience, but that doesn’t mean that I ignore or brush off the other people, I just spend time in the places that I know they hang out.

Your action item here is to figure out WHO you need to meet and then start figuring out how to meet them.

If you’re really serious about staying online, Facebook groups and LinkedIn groups are INCREDIBLE for finding your target audience.

 

Create Your Lists

Facebook has a thing called “lists”, that gives you the ability to group people by however you want to.

It’s SUPER convenient because you never have to go looking for someone to connect with… You can literally log in and go directly to that list and start engaging.

Taking that a step further, social media algorithms only show you the content that they think is relevant to you while lists show you everything in chronological order.

That means without using lists, you’re missing great opportunities to connect with your weak ties that you didn’t even know you were missing.

[bctt tweet=”That means without using lists, you’re missing great opportunities to connect with your weak ties that you didn’t even know you were missing.” username=”millennialeb”]

This might take you an hour or so at first, but once it’s done, you don’t have to worry about doing it again and it’s super easy to keep up with.

 

Ways To Engage With Them

You know that list that you made above?

Let’s put that to work.

The idea here is to create a conversation, not just get noticed.

Ahem, all of this can actually apply to dating too, just throwing that out there.

Liking every post or picture might boost the ego of the person who’s posts you’re liking but they’re only going to see you as a fan.

If you make a habit of connecting with 3-5 people per day on the social media sites that you consistently use and interact with those people in a way that is genuine and authentic, your own engagement will grow and you’ll start to build your online community.

Comment on 5 posts, like 5 posts and send 5 messages.

It takes about ten minutes to do but over the long term, will really start to build relationships and will get you shown higher in people’s newsfeeds because you’re actually interacting.

You’re not going to actually sell them through social media.

Instead, your goal is to take the conversation OFF of social media and bring the relationship to life on the phone or in person.

[bctt tweet=”You’re not going to actually sell them through social media. Instead, your goal is to take the conversation OFF of social media and bring the relationship to life on the phone or in person.” username=”millennialeb”]

The key here is to make sure that you’re only interacting on posts that you want to be associated with — this is important because your friends can see what you’re liking and commenting on — plus, the more you interact with these people, the more you’re going to see of that type of stuff.

My rule of thumb is I only engage if it’s uplifting, inspiring, educational or funny.

 

Life Changes + Special Dates

Instead of just replying to someone’s post about their engagement, new baby, birthday or whatever other life event, send them a message.

Yup, it takes two extra seconds but increases your likelihood of getting a response by about a billion percent.

Ok, maybe it’s not THAT much higher but you get the point.

Connect with them or celebrate with them from the most genuine place of your heart and they’ll feel that.

You can do this for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, engagements, new babies, job anniversaries, new jobs and the list goes on forever.

A simple congratulations isn’t going to cut it though — give them a reason to continue the conversation.

Oh, and guess what you’re going to do?

Ask a question!

Instead of just “happy birthday!”, how about, “happy birthday! Hope you have an incredible day. How are you celebrating?”

Easy peasy.

 

Friend Requests

Friend requests are the single most untapped way of building relationships quickly.

[bctt tweet=”Friend requests are the single most untapped way of building relationships quickly.” username=”millennialeb”]

After you’ve cleaned up your profile and written your content to cater directly to your target audience, you’ll find that you start getting more and more connections from the right type of people.

When you get those connections, reach out, thank them for the add and ask how you’re connected.

Sometimes they’ll say, “we met at ___” or sometimes they might say something like, “I saw your post/comment/etc. on ___ and I wanted to connect with you because of ____”.

Boom.

Conversation starter.

Plus, people who are adding you are like warm leads… They want to know you, so initiate the interaction.

 

Green Light

Facebook tells you who’s currently online like back in the AIM days.

Bet you didn’t know that, did ya?

When you go to your friends list under “chat” (or in the messenger app), you’ll see little green dots next to the people who are online.

Green means go, so GO MESSAGE THEM!

Reaching out to people who are currently online means you’re more likely to have quicker response times and engage in more actual conversations instead of having to wait til they’re back online.

Think of the little green light like knocking on their door when you know they’re home vs. when you message people randomly, it’s like leaving a voicemail.

Here’s what it looks like:

 

A Word of Caution

As you’re reaching out, ESPECIALLY online, keep your questions and engagement friendly without being flirtatious or too deep.

[bctt tweet=”As you’re reaching out, ESPECIALLY online, keep your questions and engagement friendly without being flirtatious or too deep.” username=”millennialeb”]

Your introductions should stay semi-professional until you have some rapport.

I mean, you definitely don’t have to refer to everyone as Mr. or Mrs., but at least call them by name.

True story…

I’ve gotten a few messages on LinkedIn like “hey beautiful, how was your weekend?” ON LINKEDIN!

Say whaaaaa?!? Do they even know how LinkedIn is supposed to work or what it’s for?!?!?!

Definitely didn’t respond to that and if you make people feel like you want something or are trying to hit on them, you’re going to turn. them off.

 

Ending The Conversation

One of the hardest parts of networking for most people is to end the conversation.

[bctt tweet=”One of the hardest parts of networking for most people is to end the conversation.” username=”millennialeb”]

Sounds so simple, but can be so awkward to actually do.

… and networking online is absolutely no different.

I’ve taken this “ending conversations” concept SUPER seriously because otherwise, you end up with a bunch of open conversations that sort of trail off without any specific action plan.

When you’re finishing up your interaction, it can be as simple as, “I have to run but it was so nice chatting with you”… but it doesn’t end there.

Do not end any conversation without an action item… Regardless of if it’s online or in person.

[bctt tweet=”Do not end any conversation without an action item… Regardless of if it’s online or in person.” username=”millennialeb”]

Being that clear on you intention AND having an action item for every conversation will change your relationships and peace of mind completely.

Your action item could be, reach out to them again in 3 months or it could be, “introduce them to ___”.

If I interact with someone who I think I can help or who I would have synergy with, my goal is to get them off of Facebook and on the phone.

My signature line is “I’d love to hear more about you and your goals and see what I can do to help so let’s hop on a quick call. Just to save all of the back and forth, here’s my calendar: [link to calendar].”

I’ve mentioned before that I use Contactually heavily and I use Calendly for my calendar.

Zapier is like the little messenger between apps to get them to work together, so whenever someone creates an appointment in my calendar, they’re automatically added to Contactually so that I can add them to my follow-up plan.

Because they’re automatically added, you’ll never worry about whether or not you’re following up enough and you’ll stop treating your mind like a memory machine instead of a processing machine so you can free up white space for other stuff that you actually LIKE to do.

In my world, there’s no better, faster or more efficient way to build rapport and learn about their goals quickly…

I just so happen to have my whole eight-week follow-up system for after people book a time with you and you can download it totally free right here:

Lastly, before you put your phone down or let go of that mouse, log that interaction in your CRM (like I said, I use Contactually.

This serves a few purposes…

Firstly, you can easily keep track of when the last time you talked to someone was, you’re keeping record of every interaction and you can set up a task for your next action item or follow-up.

Logging the interaction takes all of 15 seconds, but when you go to reach out to them again, you look like you have the best memory ever because you remembered their kid’s birthday or the big anniversary trip they took.
Growing your network using social media requires a strategy that will help you build relationships. It's not just about posting a bunch of spammy "call me" posts. Click through to learn how to start building relationships on social media.
Growing your network using social media requires a strategy that will help you build relationships. It's not just about posting a bunch of spammy "call me" posts. Click through to learn how to start building relationships on social media.

6 Reasons Your Networking Isn’t Working

Networking works… If you work it.

It’s a skill that most people never really learn and are sort of just thrown into the world to figure it out.

… and because they don’t know what they don’t know, they go to a networking event, don’t get results and write off networking all together.

If that’s you, hold up.

At it’s very core, networking is connecting with people and being a resource for them which ends up leading to income.

That little mindset shift from “I’m networking for a sale” will change your whole strategy.

So let’s break down the six most common mistakes people make when they’re networking:

 

1. You’re Terrified Of People

Meeting new people is uncomfortable.

I get it.

Seriously, I do.

It feels like you have to force yourself to open up to a complete stranger when you have no clue what their intentions are.

You’re making yourself vulnerable with the risk of being taken advantage of… and that’s terrifying.

If you’re like most people, that’s the deep-seeded mindset about networking.

Your thoughts influence your feelings, your feelings influence your action and your actions influence your results.

That means if you’re already opposed to meeting new people, you’ll have negative feelings towards building relationships, which means that you won’t do it and as a result, your network will be smaller and you won’t have the powerful connections you need to reach your goals.

… You get the point.

 

How To Fix It

Start by changing your mindset about meeting new people.

Yes, you’re going to have to let your guard down to have genuine conversations… There’s no way around it.

For the sake of the length of this post, I’m not going to get crazy into detail here because I wrote an entire post about how to do that:

 

2. You Have a ‘Small Circle’ Mindset

Our culture encourages us to restrict our feelings, act like we don’t care, keep our friends close and forget about everyone else.

The people closest to us are what we call strong ties — these are our friends, family and coworkers.

They likely do the same things that we do, have similar networks to us, talk the way that we do and think the same way that we do.

That’s what it’s all about, right?

Wrong.

No New Friends = No New Money

By keeping your “small circle”, you’re adopting the mindset of the poor.

While I was doing research for this, I came across an article that says…

“Economic uncertainty also leads to the search for contingencies and poorer people invest far more in building multiple strong ties who will directly help them if they are in difficulty. However this may serve to anchor their status further and reduce the chance of upward social mobility. Upper class people are more relaxed about weak ties and so tend to have more. However, they have to resort to expensive clubs and other filtering mechanisms to find ‘people like them’ with whom they can build stronger ties. The modern approach to business networking is based on the principle of weak ties: having a wide range of acquaintances can be far more helpful than having just a few good friends.”

In other words, if you want to make more money, you need to have more connections.

 

How To Fix It

They say that you’ll be the same person five years from now that you are today except for the books that you read and the people you meet — your acquaintances (also known as weak ties) encourage you to meet new people who you wouldn’t have met otherwise and they share stories and perspectives that push you to think bigger and they create opportunities for you to think differently.

With this new perspective, you’ll start to see yourself become more dynamic and innovative.

Now you’re probably like ok, ok… I get it! I need to build relationships with more than just my friends… But where do I start?

With your weak ties!

You know… Those acquaintances who you might connect with on social media and like their posts but probably don’t speak to in person because you don’t know if they’ll actually recognize you?

Yea, them.

Just so happens, I have a blog post for that too!

 

3. You only reach out when you need something

There’s a girl who hits me up everyyyy time she has something to sell or every time she needs something…

Pretty please with a cherry on top don’t do that.

I stopped answering her messages because it’s draining.

“Hey, I just created a YouTube channel — can you go subscribe for me?”

My thoughts: how about no? I’ve talked to you once in my life.

“Hey, I’m having an event for ___ and I see what you’re doing with MEB so I wanted to invite you”

My thoughts: Ok, so why have I never seen or heard from you in my life ever? If you love what we’re doing, why haven’t you been to an event?

If I had a dollar for every time someone did this, I would be rich.

They’re asking before they’ve ever built rapport or given anything first — they haven’t earned the right to ask for anything in return.

 

How To Fix It

You may have heard of the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) or even the platinum rule (treat others the way they want to be treated)…

Let me introduce you to the diamond rule — give 10x more than you’ll ever need to ask for.

When you focus on giving more, people will jump at the opportunity to help you… and believe it or not, that’s also where introverts shine over extroverts.

[bctt tweet=”When you focus on giving more, people will jump at the opportunity to help you.” username=”millennialeb”]

That’s not to say that extroverts aren’t givers, however, introverts are wired to build deep and meaningful relationships whereas extroverts are perfectly content talking to anyone.

The people in my network who ask for favors will get whatever they ask for from me plus some.

… Not only do I subscribe to their channel, I’ll share it, talk about it and give feedback.


The more you give, the more you get.

Oh, and did I mention I have another post for this too?

Maintaining your network doesn’t have to be crazy complicated or difficult… You can do it in about an hour a day (and if you’re looking to make networking as part of your strategy to grow your business, don’t tell me you don’t have enough time!)

 

4. You Have Commission Breath

I don’t think this is so much an issue with the millennial generation as it is with the generations before but we still have to mention it…

If you sound desperate for the sale orrrr you can’t stop talking about the features and benefits of your product or service, your ideal client might be nodding politely but they checked out the second they sensed your desperation.

[bctt tweet=”If you sound desperate for the sale orrrr you can’t stop talking about the features and benefits of your product or service, your ideal client might be nodding politely but they checked out the second they sensed your desperation.” username=”millennialeb”]

If this is you, I hate to break it to you but you, my friend, are the used car salesman that everyone avoids.

Don’t get me wrong…

Sales is sales.

You DO have to sell.

… but if you’re not hitting your goals and are pushing hard, it’s because you’re turning people off by your approach.

 

How To Fix It

Instead of trying to force a sale, spend more time identifying the need… Focus on learning what they need instead of what you can sell.

[bctt tweet=”Instead of trying to force a sale, spend more time identifying the need… Focus on learning what they need instead of what you can sell.” username=”millennialeb”]

What I’m about to tell you is going to change your whole life, you ready?

People will tell you exactly how to sell them if you just ask the right questions.

Instead of focusing on you and your product, learn to ask better questions and you’ll quickly find that people let their guard down way faster.

It feels less salesy and comes from a place of “I can help” rather than “I can sell”.

I talk a wholeeee bunch more about meeting people and how to initiate that conversation in this post:

 

5. You’re Not Following-Up

Here’s how most people network…

… They go to an event

… Talk to a bunch of people (with shallow conversations because they’re trying to be polite and follow the rules)

… Collect a bunch of business cards

… Throw the business cards in the trash (or stash them somewhere which is basically the same thing)

… Decide networking doesn’t work and dread when they have to go to events

Is that you?

(Just for the record, attending events isn’t the only way to grow your network!)

99.999999999% of business that comes from networking does NOT come from the first meeting.

That means you have to follow-up.

 

How To Fix It

Start by using a CRM or some sort of system to organize your people.

I’ve written at length about why I love Contactually but use whatever works for you.

From there, make sure you have a way to categorize people that AUTOMATICALLY adds them to a follow-up plan.

And no, I don’t mean your company’s email drip system that will spam them to death.

Add them to a follow-up plan that actually fosters a relationship.

I’ve written a whole blog post for you about how to do it right here:

If that’s not enough, here’s the follow-up plan I use with the new people in my network:

Following up with a system is GAME CHANGING.

 

6. Your networking is All About You

Continuing from #2, even if you are following up, your follow-ups are more irritating than they are anticipated.

They probably sound something like this…

“Hey, did you check out my company yet?”

“Hey, are you gonna buy it?”

Stop doing that.

Oh, and just to clarify…

If your marketing and messaging isn’t relevant and useful to THEM, it’s spam.

[bctt tweet=”If your marketing and messaging isn’t relevant and useful to THEM, it’s spam.” username=”millennialeb”]

Let me say that again… If your marketing and messaging isn’t relevant and useful to THEM, it’s spam.

The example I always use here is if I were sending information about selling a home to someone who just rented a property, it’s spam.

If I sent info about selling a home to a homeowner who’s recently gone through a life change, THAT is valuable.

That’s a HUGE distinction.

Just because you worked hard on your marketing doesn’t automatically mean they’re going to find it useful.

 

How To Fix It

Make the people you meet look forward to hearing from you again by learning what THEY need and giving them what they want.

It’s as simple as that.

I’m a hugeeee advocate of five minute favors…

Quick favors that will make an impact for them are easy to do but deepen your relationship.

If you’ve read basically any of my other posts about networking, you already know that I’m in love with making introductions because it’s so powerful and so simple.

Yup, you guessed it… I have a blog post for that too!


Networking does work but you have to approach it the right way. Here are the six most common mistakes that most people make when it comes to networking and how to fix each of them. Click through to learn more.
Networking works if you do it right. Here are the six most common mistakes that most people make when they're building their network. Click through to learn more.Networking works if you do it right. Here are the six most common mistakes that most people make when they're building their network. Click through to learn more.
Networking isn't supposed to be hard. At it's core, it's simply building relationships that lead to opportunities. Here are the six most common mistakes people make and how to fix them. Click through to learn more.

How to Be A People Connecting Ninja

The easiest way and my absolute favorite way to create MASSIVE value for your network is by connecting people to each other.

Yup, sounds soooo basic.

So basic in fact, you’re probably like “duh“.

… but like with anything else, building the mindset of being someone whose focused on connecting people is a habit and skill to develop.

It’s super easy to connect people and the benefits are insane.

First and foremost, when you connect people your network learns to help each other and you look like a rockstar because you’re at the center of it all.

[bctt tweet=”By becoming a connector, your network learns to help each other and you look like a rockstar because you’re at the center of it all.” username=”millennialeb”]

You probably hang around the same type of people as yourself, so by connecting people in your community to each other, you’re infinitely magnifying your own impact.

Not to mention, it trains your network to give referrals.

[bctt tweet=”Connecting people trains your network to give referrals.” username=”millennialeb”]

When you go to ask for a referral, they realize it’s the norm of the relationship and are way more likely to give it.

In the name of efficiency, you connect with two people at the same time so you’re doubling the number of people you can keep in touch with while using half the effort.

When they do connect, the first thing they have in common is you… So what do you think they’re going to talk about first?

Yup.

They’re going to talk about you AND how awesome you are.

Andddd can we talk about the fact that people will actually open and answer your emails because you’re CONSTANTLY creating value for them.

Think about it this way…

One connection can literally change someone’s life AND it takes you less than 5 minutes to make the connection.

[bctt tweet=”One connection can literally change someone’s life AND it takes you less than 5 minutes to make the connection.” username=”millennialeb”]

I don’t think there’s a better way to create such a massive impact while still being efficient with your time and energy.

People like to associate with movers and shakers, so the more connecting you do, the more credibility you gain.

Plus, connecting people shows people that you actually care… and when you care, they care too.

That teeny tiny introduction can literally change your entire experience with your community.

Now that you’re sold on the concept of connecting, how do you actually do it?

Great question.

 

Finding The Opportunity

First things first, before you even think about connecting people, you have to have an intimate understanding of their goals.

One on ones are INCREDIBLE for doing that… and it just so happens that I have a wholeeee post about how to do a one on one:

[bctt tweet=”As you’re chatting with people, make sure that you’re asking about their goals AND their challenges. In fact, I would argue that understanding their challenges is MORE important than understanding their goals.” username=”millennialeb”]

As you’re chatting with people, make sure that you’re asking about their goals AND their challenges.

In fact, I would argue that understanding their challenges is MORE important than understanding their goals…

By understanding what their challenges are, you can present someone in your network as a potential solution and THAT will generally help get them to their goal.

The more you get intimate with their goals, the faster you’ll identify opportunities to help them and the best way to do that is to ask great questions and to make them feel comfortable enough to share.

As a side note, keep in mind that to continue connecting people, your network has to be constantly growing otherwise you’ll run out of people to introduce to each other.

 

Reasons To Connect People

More specifically, here’s how to identify opportunities to connect people:

SOLVE THEIR PROBLEM: I feel like you’re probably rolling your eyes right now by how obvious this one is but we miss the opportunity all the time. Most people think in challenges, not solutions. With that in mind, as a connector, it’s your job to hear their challenge and connect them with the person that can be their solution. For example, one of my girlfriends was complaining about having to get waxed and shaving all the time, so I told her about laser hair removal and connected her with my girl. If I wasn’t focused on making connections, I’d just go along and agree about how much waxing and shaving sucks.

GET THEM AROUND THEIR TARGET CLIENT: this won’t apply for everyone, but in a lot of industries, sharing resources actually helps them. For example, being that I sell real estate, introducing me to another realtor is of ABSOLUTELY no value to me. I also have a lender that I love, so introducing me to them isn’t of value to me either. However, given the fact that my ideal client is a young professional who makes $75k+ per year and wants to stay in South Florida for BOTH my real estate business and for Millennial Empire Builders, inviting me to happy hour where you’re meeting your friends who fit my target audience would be CRAZY valuable. Any quality professional is going to know who their target audience is and will be able to tell you. As a side note, you should also learn about their approach with their ideal audience or else you might find that you bring your new contact around your people and they’re on them like vultures.

SHARE RESOURCES: This exact reason is why mastermind groups are so powerful. By introducing people who can share resources, ideas, tools, systems or manpower, you’re helping them leverage and elevate their business. Maybe you have a friend who’s KILLIN it with Facebook ads and another who is doing amazing with blogging… Those two should meet as they can teach each other and share best practices.

MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE THEY BELONG: you know how we all have that one weird thing that we’re into that we feel like no one else is into, too? We’re constantly DYING to feel like we belong somewhere, so by introducing them to people who share their passions and interests, you can give them that sense of belonging that they’re looking for. This ESPECIALLY goes for nonprofits! If you know that one of your contacts is really passionate about a specific cause and you have a contact at a nonprofit whose focus is that cause, get them involved. The nonprofit wins because they get another volunteer or donor while the individual wins because they’re fulfilling their passion.

Ready to put this into action?

I’ve got a free worksheet that you can use to identify the opportunity and make the connection every. single. time.

 

How To Make The Connection

Seriously, connecting people is way easier than you think.

When you make the connection, tell them why you think they should chat and make sure you brag about them to each other. A quick little intro about how you met them is helpful too.

Here’s an example:

 

Subject Title: Intro 🙂
Hi [FIRST NAME]!
As mentioned, I wanted to introduce you to ___. They are [why they’re awesome] and I thought you guys would make great connections because [how the person can help them]. Here’s their bio to learn more about them: link to bio or LinkedIn profile

Hi [FIRST NAME]!
Hope all is well! I met ___ the other day at __ and they were telling me about __. I was so impressed by __ and you instantly came to mind because [make sure you mention how it’s a win for both sides].

You guys should grab lunch or coffee! Happy connecting 🙂

Kindest Regards,
[Your Signature]

This little script works like crazyyyyyy.

Firstly, the title alone gets people to open the email.

Next up, make sure that you’re bragging about them to each other equally and you’re reminding them why they’re valuable to each other.

As a little disclaimer, I ALWAYS let them know how I met the other person because if for some reason, the person ends up being a dud, they’re not going to be mad at me since I just met them too.

Oh, and you see the little suggestion at the end telling them to grab lunch or coffee?

Yea, don’t leave that out.

By you setting the stage for how they should connect, they will follow instructions.

Remember, when there’s rapport, the person who’s most certain will influence the other.

You have rapport with both of these people so they’re going to look to you for proper etiquette for handling each other.

I’ve made no secret about how passionate I am about one on ones, so by encouraging them to do the same, you’re making it easy for them to start building a relationship.

 

Pro Tip: Follow-Up After Connecting People

About two weeks after you’ve made the connection, follow-up with both of them to make sure they connected and got value out of it.

If you’ve been reading my blogs for awhile, you already know that I’m going to tell you that you need to have great systems in place to do this without burning out and this little follow-up is part of my eight week follow-up plan for new connections that you can get right here.

You know they say, “it’s the thought that counts”?

That doesn’t apply here.

If the people in your network aren’t connecting, it WILL hurt your credibility.

Checking in to make sure they’ve actually connected ensures that you’re keeping tabs on whether or not they actually connected… and if they can’t even bother to connect, you don’t need to be investing your time in them anyways.

Yes, I’m fully aware of how harsh that sounds.

In fact, I said that during a workshop I did recently and one of the women raised her hand and said, “I’m the person that probably won’t connect… Not because I don’t want to but because I don’t have time”.

I get that.

I know that people get busy and there’s nothing wrong with that… but it’s not worth it to invest time in them if they don’t have time to invest in you, your network or any other opportunities.

That’s just a fast road to burn out mode.

Once they get things settled, you can always reconnect and make those introductions later.

It’s not harsh, it’s protecting your time, reputation and energy… and no one is going to do that except for you.

 

Putting It To Work

To help you put this into action, I went ahead and created a totally free worksheet for you to follow-up after you meet people.

It’ll help you breakdown the person’s goals, identify the other people who can help them and then outline the introduction.

Go ahead and download it right here:


The fastest way to gain credibility, become a mover and shaker and offer MASSIVE value to your network is to focus on connecting people. In this article, you'll learn exactly how to do it and get a free worksheet to help you put it into action.
The fastest way to gain credibility, become a mover and shaker and offer MASSIVE value to your network is to focus on connecting people. In this article, you'll learn exactly how to do it and get a free worksheet to help you put it into action.

4 Laws Of Networking You Should NEVER Break

I feel like I’d be doing you a disservice if I kept talking about networking on the blog but never really talked about the four laws at a high level.

A law is a rule that you shouldn’t break and if you do, you suffer from the consequences.

If you’re going to commit to building your brand or business with networking, you need to internalize these four laws and make it part of your daily, weekly and monthly routine.

[bctt tweet=”If you’re going to commit to building your brand or business with networking, you need to internalize these four laws and make it part of your daily, weekly and monthly routine.” username=”millennialeb”]

Most of my posts are usually 2000+ word monsters, but this one is going to be shorter than usual because I’ve already laid out the details in some of the related posts.

This is just a high level overview to help you understand the strategy of networking.

As a disclaimer, I can’t take credit for these four laws…

They come from the Millionaire Real Estate Agent by Gary Keller, which is basically like a textbook for how to build a million dollar real estate business.

The more I’ve learned and internalized this concept, the more I realized these four laws can apply to any industry, whether online or offline.

Let’s get started.

 

Law #1. Build A Database

If you’re going to start building your network, you’ll need to have a place to keep all of your people.

[bctt tweet=”If you’re going to start building your network, you’ll need to have a place to keep all of your people.” username=”millennialeb”]

… and no, keeping your contacts in your phone isn’t going to be enough.

I mean sure, if you like feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, do that.

However, if you want to make it easy, you’re going to need to have a place to keep your contacts and keep your records of your contacts.

I know this part isn’t sexy but it’s INCREDIBLY important that you set it up right from the beginning.

Contactually is the “google” of my contacts where if I run into someone I haven’t seen in awhile, I can pull up their contact and recall every single conversation we’ve ever had.

Oh, and it just so happens that I’m walking you through that right here:

If you’re an online entrepreneur or blogger, your “database building” is going to probably look different than mine and will probably look more like segmenting, tagging and automations in your email service provider like ConvertKit*

 

Law #2. Feed It Everyday

Listen up.

If you’re in a business that you’re trying to grow, you need to focus on finding more leads.

You can absolutely generate more business from your existing clients but at some point, you’re going to burn them out and you’re either going to need to find new leads or get referrals from your old clients.

[bctt tweet=”You can absolutely generate more business from your existing clients but at some point, you’re going to burn them out and you’re either going to need to find new leads or get referrals from your old clients.” username=”millennialeb”]

Whichever route you decide to go, your business will not succeed if you don’t have enough leads.

This law should never, ever be broken.

That means, if you go to work one day and don’t feed your database, you didn’t do your job that day.

[bctt tweet=”That means, if you go to work one day and don’t feed your database, you didn’t do your job that day.” username=”millennialeb”]

I grow my network with events (MEB’s workshops and open houses), attending events and social media (soon to be adding Facebook ads).

Whichever way you decide to grow your network, you should definitely plan to feed it into an email list where #3 becomes way easier:

Also, this seems overwhelming to some people, so I wanted to make sure I touched on how I maintain my own network on a daily basis:

 

Law #3. Communicate With It Systematically

My whole approach to networking is totally focused on building genuine relationships.

However, I don’t want to make my brain work too hard and I don’t want to burn out.

[bctt tweet=”My whole approach to networking is totally focused on building genuine relationships. However, I don’t want to make my brain work too hard and I don’t want to burn out.” username=”millennialeb”]

With that in mind, the key is systematic communications.

I could go on for CENTURIES about systematic communications and luckily, I already have in GREAT detail in these posts:

 

Law #4. Service The Business That Comes Your Way

While this might sound obvious, it’s essential that we talk about it.

My first broker was spending soooo much money on marketing and leads and he was getting the business, but his reviews were GOD AWFUL because he’d basically forget about his clients once he got them.

He was like “hit it and quit it”, except with clients.

You know I’m alllll about systems so this should be done in a systematic way as well.

My follow-up systems were created to make sure that my clients are educated about every step of the process so once they are ready to make a move, the process is super simple.

They’re stress free because they know what to expect and when they’re stress free, my life is easier too.

Once we go under contract, I have a transaction coordinator to make sure our dates and deadlines stay on track so that nothing falls through the cracks.

You don’t necessarily need to hire help to deal with your clients, but you should have some sort of system in place to make sure that every client gets the same experience.

[bctt tweet=”You don’t necessarily need to hire help to deal with your clients, but you should have some sort of system in place to make sure that every client gets the same experience.” username=”millennialeb”]
Networking isn't just about luck or being in the right place at the right time. It requires skill, follow-up and the right approach. To make it super simple, here are the four laws to help you start seeing results from your network.
Networking isn't just about luck or being in the right place at the right time. It requires skill, follow-up and the right approach. To make it super simple, here are the four laws to help you start seeing results from your network.
Networking isn't just about luck or being in the right place at the right time. It requires skill, follow-up and the right approach. To make it super simple, here are the four laws to help you start seeing results from your network.

7 Must Have Networking Email Follow-Up Templates

I was listening to a podcast recently that started with, “what is the one thing that no one is asking you that you feel like they should.”

As I thought about it, I realized that no one ever asks how I consistently build my network without burning out.

My answer would be systems and templates.

Burnout usually happens when you’re doing unfulfilling work without the prospect of growth or the attachment of a big why.

You might not realize it, but if you’re in the service-based industry, you repeat yourself WAY more than you think… and that’s a super easy cause for burnout that you can totally get rid of in just a few minutes.

[bctt tweet=”You might not realize it, but if you’re in the service-based industry, you repeat yourself WAY more than you think.” username=”millennialeb”]

Even though writing an email doesn’t take that long, it’s still using brain power that you don’t need to be using and when you have to think about it, you risk falling victim to the “I don’t feel like it syndrome”.

… and the less you have to think, the more likely you are to do it.

Perfect example….

I went to an event where I met five new contacts.

The next morning, I wasn’t in the mood to follow-up but I added them to Contactually and the email I use to invite people to a one on one popped up and I just had to confirm and send.

Templates bulletproof your networking strategy so you beat the “I don’t feel like it”.

So, here are the must have text and email templates for following up and building your network:

 

1. Following Up After Meeting Someone New

First things first, the most important follow-up you can have is the one you use right after you meet someone new.

First things first, the most important follow-up you can have is the one you use right after you meet someone new.[bctt tweet=”First things first, the most important follow-up you can have is the one you use right after you meet someone new.” username=”millennialeb”]

No one gets excited about following up, so making it systematic will make it easier.

The follow-up email that I use has an 85.71% response rate (yes, you read that right — response rate, not just open rate).

If you want access to all eight of my follow-up templates and how to put it into action, you can get them right here:

 

2. Here’s what happens Next…

You can just thank me now for the amount of time I’m about to save you AND for the level of customer service you’re about to give your people.

If you adopt one thing, let it be this…

Whenever you end a conversation, end it with, “here’s what’s going to happen next….”

In the name of efficiency, do this in email form.

Lay out your entire process in email form with each email representing a different step.

As your leads, clients and prospects move through your process, being able to walk them through the process easily will make your life easier too.

An educated consumer means you have to answer less questions, they’re happier and it’s stress free for both of you.

 

3. Confirming Appointments

I cannot stress enough how important this template is.

Do you even realize how annoying it is when you show up somewhere and the person forgets?

Here’s a bonus tip: when you schedule an appointment, schedule the confirmation email for the night before or the morning of at the same time so you don’t have to think about it later.

I used to do this regularly but I’m allllll about automating my life so I started using Calendly to eliminate a bunch of the back and forth emails and to automate my meeting confirmations.

At this point in my life, I just follow my calendar and show up where it tells me to.

I highly recommend Calendly for coordinating your appointments or bookings — it’ll simplify your life a million times over.

 

4. Making Introductions

You guys know I’m like a psycho about making introductions and in the next few weeks, I’m going to be publishing a post allllll about the art of making introductions.

Seriously, it’s an art and if you master it, it’s the fastest way to gain credibility, get more referrals and gain tonssss of social proof with basically no effort.

Being that I make so many introductions, having a template is essential.

The template I use for this is part of my eight week follow-up plan that you can download right here:

 

5. Referral Instructions

You ever have someone go, “hey! I gave such-and-such your number because they’re looking to [insert your service here].”

It’s awesome that they’re thinking of you and referring you, howeverrrrr….

I treat referrals the same way that I treat my new contacts.

If I give them my card, I’ll probably never hear from them again because the average person sucks at follow-up.

[bctt tweet=”If I give them my card, I’ll probably never hear from them again because the average person sucks at follow-up.” username=”millennialeb”]

If I get their card, we’re a bajillion times more likely to reconnect because I have systems in place that make certain we reconnect.

With referrals, I don’t want them to “give them my number” because they might never call.

I have a text template that thanks them for thinking of me and then tells them exactly what to text their friend which directs them to a lead capture page so they’re automatically added into my follow-up system… and a second template that asks them for their info so I can make sure we actually connect.

Your instructions don’t have to be that complex but you should have a standard system for how you handle incoming referrals.

 

6. Referral Thank You

Want to get more referrals?

When people refer you, make sure you thank them.

Simple, right?

I know…. but it makes a huge difference.

Have a thank you template that you send when someone refers you.

This applies to bloggers selling ecourses and thanking affiliates, SAAS companies or apps thanking their users for introducing the product to their friends and service-based people thanking their network for referring them.

Thank you goes a long way, so make sure you do it.

 

7. New Lead

Lastly, you should have a template and system for when you get new leads.

If you’re a blogger, this might look like your new email Subscriber indoctrination sequence.

If you’re a service based professional, what do you send them when they call and say, “hey! I’m ready to work with you”?

Templates will streamline and simplify your entire business, so I HIGHLY recommend you start implementing them.

If you want the email templates I use for my first 8 follow-ups, you can get them right here:

Networking follow-up email templates make it a million times easier to grow your network without burning out. Click through to learn the 7 templates that you absolutely have to have in order to reach your goals.
The easiest way to grow your network is to use follow up email templates so you never have to think about what to say to your new connections. In this post, you'll learn about the 7 must have email templates you need to grow your network and you'll get my free 8-week follow-up plan for new contacts. Click through to learn more.

7 Powerful Ways To Stay Top Of Mind With Your Network

There are sooooooooooo many ways that you can share your message with your audience.

When you’re starting out, choose ONE format you want to use to communicate… and once you’ve systemized it so that it runs on it’s own, then and only then, should you add another format.

The biggest mistake that I see people making when they start trying to form their marketing plan for their network is they bite off more than they can chew.

(and I’ve been here more than once)

Seriously though, start with one.

I know I know, you have a huge master plan that you want to put together… but do yourself a favor and start with one.

While you’re selecting your format, think about what you LIKE to do and can realistically do it consistently.

I love love love going live on Facebook and doing little chats in my Instastories but I don’t do more video stuff because I freakin’ hate editing videos…

I’ve also found that my community appreciates the raw realness of unedited videos, so I’ve been doing more of it.

In next week’s blog post, I’m going to teach you how to create a year’s worth of marketing in one week but for this week, I want you to think about the method you want to focus on.

 

Method #1: Email Newsletters

There’s no place more sacred in internet marketing than someone’s inbox.

Social media algorithms will change, they always do… So if you have a direct line to their inbox and you create engaging content that gets them to WANT to open and click in your emails, you can monetize your email list.

Whether you’re a blogger, you’re trying to build your credibility with your network or you’re trying to convert a lead into a client, email works.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don’t believe me?

Just got this text last night:

… and it just so happens that I have a wholeeee article about what to send to your email list:

 

Method #2: Blog Posts

I freakin’ love blogs (if you couldn’t tell)…

Specifically because when someone comes to me asking for advice on something, I’ll give them a quick little answer and then direct them to a blog post that I’ve written that will answer the rest of their questions.

It allows me to blow people’s minds without taking up a ton of my time.

Plus, it doesn’t hurt that I regularly get emails or messages from people like “I read your ___ article and I had to bookmark it because it was so good!”

It’s good for the ego, builds brand loyalty andddd it reinforces my blogging philosophy: I only publish if it’s epic.

So sure, I don’t publish every week like some bloggers do… but when I do, you know that I’ve poured my heart and soul into it and you know that you’re going to get something out of it.

The key to blogging and monetizing it is getting them to take action… and specifically, get their email address (which brings us back to email newsletters).
 

Method #3: Video Emails

I’ve dabbled in video and totally see the value of it, I just don’t do more of it because I hateeeeeee editing videos and I haven’t found someone yet to do it for me who’s style I like, turn around is fast enough and is affordable (if that’s you, hit me up!).

You know how they say that a picture is worth a thousand words?

I just saw a statistic somewhere that said one minute of video is worth 1.8 million words.

If that doesn’t tell you the value of video, I don’t know what does.

I actually did a poll on my Instagram about whether my audience preferred super scripted and edited videos or if they preferred the raw, real life videos that I normally do in my Instachats.

Believe it or not, they preferred the rawness of the unedited videos which motivated me to start doing a monthly video email to my real estate list about the things going on in the community. I’ve already recorded and scheduled emails for an entire year and they’re LOVIN’ it.

In addition, video consumption goes up every single year so I anticipate that in the future, video will be our main form of communication.

I also do tonssss of videos on my Instastories… Sometimes they’re chats related to MEB topics and sometimes they’re property videos. Those stories have increased our memberships, attendance and gotten me wayyyy more real estate referrals so yes, video totally works.

 

Method #4: Social Media

Firstly, I know I just clumped all of the social media platforms into one category when they all deserve their own sections but for the sake of the length of this post, we’re not going to get into detail here about how to build a following on social media.

If you’re going to choose this route, choose one platform and master it first. You don’t need to be on every platform.

That’s how you burn out.

Here’s what you need to know: hangout where your target audience does.

If it’s Instagram, become a boss on Instagram. If it’s Facebook, master that shit. If you’re a blogger, you probably already know about the impact Pinterest can have on your list building and traffic… or maybe it’s Snapchat.

Whatever the platform is, master it before you go to the next platform.

By focusing on one platform, you can GREATLY increase your impact on your audience because of how much content you can create for that one platform.

The more they see you contributing value, the more they’re willing to do business with you.

Oh, and for the love of God… Do yourself a favor and systemize it.

My absolute favorite social media scheduling platform is SmarterQueue because they recycle the posts so it’s ACTUALLY set it and forget it.

Social media can be done a few different ways…

You can use social media as a mini-blog itself and focus your content on educating, informing and inspiring your audience or you can use it to promote your other avenues.

Either way, your content should be useful.

… If your content is not educational, inspiring or useful, you shouldn’t be posting it.

The content that you share doesn’t have to be alllll yours.

You can share other people’s content that’s related to your topic, but PLEASEEEEE do not continue to post “50% off! Call me now!”

That just makes you look spammy.

 

Method #5: Mailings (And yes, I mean snail mail)

I know this is a millennial blog so you’re probably like, “um, excuse me, what?”

Hear me out…

If your mail pieces are valuable, they will get opened and they won’t get thrown out.

In fact, when someone tells me they want to buy or sell a house, they get four mailings from me.

The first mailing is a handwritten note and the other three are worksheets or cheat sheets to help them get ready for their move.

I cannot even tell you how many thank you’s I’ve gotten for them.

Specifically, they’ve LOVED them because it gave them actionable content to implement right away.

We’re not talking about junk mail here…

We’re talking about hardcore, useful content.

And ‘why mail’, you ask?

Great question…

Not everyone is going to open your emails… but when is the last time you got something USEFUL in the mail that wasn’t a bill or junk mail?

Probably never.

It’s the something-something to make you stand out.

Over the long-term, think about sending them something once a month that might be useful for them.

Sure, mail is more expensive than some of the others but it works so incredibly well because you’re getting to them in a way that most other people have forgotten.

Ready to put this into action?

I’ve got a totally free workbook for you to help you decide which method to use and how to figure out how much money you’ll make per method.

 

My Secret Weapons

I don’t include these secret weapons as actual “methods” because they are part of the bigger picture of marketing. You’re probably not going to do a one on one with every person in your network every month and you could either email or mail your checklists and worksheets.

So with that in mind, these two little things upgrade your marketing a million times over:

 

Weapon #1: One On Ones

Do not underestimate the power of the one-to-one connection.

[bctt tweet=”Do not underestimate the power of the one-to-one connection.” username=”millennialeb”]

Whether that’s phone calls, one on one meetings or personal emails, the one-to-one connection is the single most powerful connection you can possibly have.

So long as you focus on the right people, this is hands down the most powerful form of building credibility with your community.

I’m going to write an entire post about how to organize and maintain relationships with your community, just haven’t had a chance to do so yet but when I do, I’ll make sure I add it right here.

Don’t try to do everything… Pick one or two ways to create value for your audience and do them at a high level.

… and whatever you do, do it consistently.

 

Weapon #2: Checklists and Workbooks

I’m obsessed with checklists, worksheets and cheat sheets… I have checklists for everything that I do and I created checklists for everythingggg that our MEB team needs to do on a regular basis. I have open house checklists, client intake checklists, and worksheets for pretty much everything that happens in my businesses.

They help us stay consistent, systemized and it makes it incredibly easy to track our results (since what you don’t track, you can’t improve).

These are SUPER popular with bloggers and infopreneurs but ANYONE can implement this into their business.

People will LOVE you for them because you’re giving hem clarity… and clarity is power.

Here’s a sneak peak of some of my worksheets and checklists:

Most people get overwhelmed by things they don’t understand, so if you can simplify it for your ideal client, remove the fog and help them see the process from beginning to end, you’re the person that made them feel like they can conquer it… and you’ll get the business.

For example, for my real estate business, I have a checklist for my sellers of everything that they’ll need to do to prep the house before we go up for sale… I have a worksheet for buyers to use to keep notes of the houses they’ve seen. I have a flow chart that walks them through the whole closing process.

Not only do they love it, but it saves me tonsssssssssssssss of phone calls of “what did you say about ___ again?”… because they know they can go back to the worksheets and checklists I gave them.

I’m all about giving someone a “wow” experience and blowing their mind but I FIERCELY protect my time and by creating alllll this content up front, I can do all of that simultaneously.

All of which leads me to…

 

Repurpose, repurpose, repurpose

I. Cannot. Stress. This. Enough.

If you answered a question in a video, make a quick little meme about it and share it on whatever social media platform you love.

Then turn it into an infographic….

Add the video to a blog post and then detail the answer in writing too (that way people who prefer to read it can and the people who prefer to watch it can too).

Tell a story about it on your Instastory or Snapchat.

Create a worksheet, checklist or cheatsheet about it.

Turn it into a tutorial.

You work hard to create your content so if you use it in a bunch of different ways, you’ll make sure that you get enough eyeballs on it for it to make a difference.

I don’t care how epic your video, blog or meme was… People are busy and social media algorithms aren’t your friend.

It doesn’t matter how many different ways you create the same content, most people won’t see it in one way and everyone digests information differently so even if they DID see it, it doesn’t mean they actually remember it.

Just because you post about it once on social media, doesn’t mean everyone saw it (in fact, less than 5% of your friends and followers will see your posts on social media so you HAVE to repurpose for it to be seen).

Just because you sent out an email, doesn’t mean they read the whole thing (or even opened it).

Next week, we’re going to talk about how to create a year’s worth of marketing for your network in just one week, but for this week, I really want you to focus on the ONE (not three or five) method you want to implement in your business. Start there… and once you’ve decided, creating a year’s worth of content will be easy peasy.

In the meantime, I created a totally free workbook to help you brainstorm which method you want to use and how to figure out how much money you’ll make per method.

You can download it right here:


Ever feel like your network has a ton of opportunity, you just can't get them to pay attention? In this article, you'll get 7 of my best marketing ideas to help you grow your income from your network. Oh, and there's a free workbook to help you break down the cost of each method and how much income potential they have. Click through to learn more
Networking can bring you a ton of opportunity, so long as you keep in touch with them and stay top of mind. In this article, you'll get 7 of my favorite business marketing ideas to grow your income and make sure your network thinks of you first. Click through to read the article and download the free workbook.
If you want to generate more income from your network, you have to stay top of mind with them and market to them in a systematic way. Here are 7 business marketing ideas to help you increase your income. Click through to learn more and download the free workbook!

What To Say During A One-On-One Networking Meeting

One on one meetings are the very foundation of our in-person chapters.

When we established our leadership committees, I created worksheets and cheat sheets for pretty much every single thing they need to do… but I didn’t include the one on ones so I was going to make a quick cheat sheet for them.

Instead, I decided this was too valuable to only keep to our leadership, so here’s a wholeeeeee post for you!

Of any form of marketing, networking, advertising or otherwise, the one on one meeting consistently has the HIGHEST conversion rate from turning potentially interested people into actual members for our in-person chapters.

Here’s the kicker… During my one on ones, I only spend about two minutes telling them about MEB and the rest of the time I focus on them.

There are a million different ways to approach a one on one meeting but I’ve found that this method reallyyyyyy gets them engaged and helps me figure out the best way(s) to help them.

Before we get started, if the thought of asking for the one on one makes you nervous, I’ve got a wholeeeee blog post for you right here:

… And if you’re the person who treats your business cards like frisbees instead of having a genuine conversation when you meet them, this one is especially for you:

Now let’s get to work.

Write this down…

Everyone wants to buy but no one wants to be sold.

[bctt tweet=”Everyone wants to buy but no one wants to be sold.” username=”millennialeb”]

With that in mind, most salespeople spend like nine million years talking about how great their product or service is and the listener might nod along politely… and you may or may not be getting through to them but without asking great questions and understanding what they actually need, you literally have no idea.

Instead of talking their ear off about stuff that may or may not be important to them, listen more… Ask more questions.

You’ll be amazeddddd at what people will tell you if you just ask the right questions and make them feel like they’re being heard without being judged.

With this approach, they’ll usually tell you exactly how to win them over and you can finesse your way through that conversation without actually trying to sell them at all.

Your goal is to be a solution to their challenges, not to try to force a sale.

[bctt tweet=”Your goal is to be a solution to their challenges, not to try to force a sale.” username=”millennialeb”]

 

Do Your Research Before You Meet


Social media and Google are goldmines of information on people.

See what mutual friends you have, check out their interests, take note of any awards they’ve received and anything you have in common.

A quick 3 minute search on someone will give you TONS to talk about.

Keep in mind, when you go into your one on one, you’re not going with the “I stalked you and know everything about you” mentality…

You’re just looking for something to help relate to them and guide your conversation and it will help you seem genuinely interested in them.

A few quick little icebreakers that you might use are things like…

“When I added you on [insert social media site], I noticed you’re connected to ___. So funny! [insert how you know them]. How do you know them?” (PLEASE NOTE: Never ever ever speak lowly of anyone with this approach)

“I saw you recently went to ___. I’ve been meaning to go there! How was it?” 

Figuring out what you have in common means you can build rapport with them quickly.

The research part of networking is so important that I created a quick little worksheet to help you flesh out the important information before you meet with someone and you can download it totally free right here:

 

Be Human + Ask Great Questions

For the people who don’t think small talk matters, I hope I can give you a quick mindset shift…

I want you to write this down…

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

[bctt tweet=”People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” username=”millennialeb”]

Is that airy-fairy? Sure.

Let’s put that a different way…

People will zone out of whatever you have to say until you start talking about something they’re interested in.

How do you decide what they’re interested in?

By getting to know them first.

People will literally tell you how to sell them if you just ask the right questions and you listen.

[bctt tweet=”People will literally tell you how to sell them if you just ask the right questions and you listen.” username=”millennialeb”]

Instead of spending all of your time talking about how great your product, service or opportunity is, you can literally just focus on what they’re looking for… and then customize your “pitch” (and I use that word lightly) to them.

Make no mistake though, if you are going for an “ask”, you are selling.

We are ALL salespeople, but instead of a hardcore sales approach, we’re taking a consultative approach.

[bctt tweet=”We are ALL salespeople, but instead of a hardcore sales approach, we’re taking a consultative approach.” username=”millennialeb”]

Whether it’s a product, service, yourself or an opportunity… You’re selling.

For example…

Let’s say you’re a financial advisor and someone says, “I never heard from my last person.”

When you go to sell them, your presentation goes like this…

“I can tell that communication is important to you… Here’s how I communicate with my clients…”

Boom.

Sold.

Easy peasy.

By knowing exactly what they’re looking for, your pitch will be shorter too.

[bctt tweet=”By knowing exactly what they’re looking for, you can customize your sales pitch to exactly what they’re looking for.” username=”millennialeb”]

They don’t need to hear every piece of your pitch, just the parts they care about.

If you’re still not comfortable with what to talk about, I wrote a wholeeeee post just for you.

Even if you are comfortable with it, I still recommend that you read it because it goes through a super simple approach for basically getting someone’s whole life story in a matter of 30 minutes.

 

Offer Value

As you’re chatting, start thinking about the ways you can offer value.

Instead of just interrupting them to fake relate to them, figure out ways to help them.

[bctt tweet=”Instead of just interrupting your new connections during conversations to fake relate to them, figure out ways to help them.” username=”millennialeb”]

The amount of effort you put into helping them will be reflected in the amount of effort they put into helping you.

My absolute favoriteeee way to add value to people is to introduce them to someone else in my network…

Think about it… Introducing two people can literally change the course of both of their lives.

… and by doing that, I keep the attention on them, am contributing value, I get to reconnect with two people at the same time (aka killing two birds with one stone) and I know that once they connect, they’re going to brag about how awesome I am since the first thing they have in common to talk about is me.

Talk about getting your audience to brag about you!

Among other ways to add value, you can tell them about a book, podcast or other resource that you came across that can help them reach their goals.

… but I like making introductions the best.

 

Go For Your Ask

After you’ve gotten to know them, learned about their goals, challenges, successes and so on… At some point, they’re going to ask about you.

It’s human nature…

We don’t like to feel vulnerable if the other people in our space aren’t also vulnerable.


So by focusing on connecting with them and showing them that you care, they’re going to CARE about what you have to say.

Yup.

After you’ve asked them how you can help them, they’ll usually finish it off with, “so how can I help you?”

So when they do ask about you, tell them about your goals… and more specifically, make your “goal” your “ask” clear.

During my usual one on ones, there’s a point where they go (literally almost verbatim at every single one on one), “so what about you?”

I’ll usually laugh and talk about why I do what I do.

They almost always comment on my passion for helping people reach their goals…

At this point, my “asks” vary based on what context I’m meeting the person.

Some people I’d like to have sponsor MEB events, some are for real estate clients, some are for specific introductions and some are for members.

Whatever you do, make your ask easy to say yes to.

[bctt tweet=”Whatever you do, make your ask easy to say yes to.” username=”millennialeb”]

Instead of, “become a client” or “buy my product”, give them a baby step to say yes to…

Ask for an introduction, share a resource with them that they might find valuable or ask them to come to a free event.

When you’re first getting started, keep your ask consistent.

With one specific ask, whenever the people in your network talk about you, they’ll start to mastermind about how to help you.

Seriously, I’m not kidding.

I’m a huge fan of earning the business in the follow-up so my first ask isn’t usually hardcore. It’s more of like a temperature test… and as I go through the follow-up process after our meeting, they warm up to the idea.

If the idea of following up seems overwhelming, I’ve got justttttt the post for you.

As for going for the ask, it’s probably going to feel clumsy and weird to ask at first, but it gets easier.

… but have an ask and ask it often.

 

Action Items and Recap

My goal is to blow people’s mind… but I don’t want to have to kill myself to do it.

That’s why I’m obsessed with systems.

[bctt tweet=”My goal is to blow people’s mind… but I don’t want to have to kill myself to do it… That’s why I’m obsessed with systems.” username=”millennialeb”]

At the end of your meeting, recap with your action items and do them as soon as you finish.

Let me say that again so that you don’t skip over it.

Do a quick recap with the person you’re meeting at the end of the meeting…

This is superrrrr simple.

You ready?

“I’m going to ___ and you’ll have it by __ and I look forward to [whatever they said they’d do].”

If you don’t end your meetings with action items, it’s wayyyy too easy to have a great conversation that nothing ever comes out of.

[bctt tweet=”If you don’t end your meetings with action items, it’s wayyyy too easy to have a great conversation that nothing ever comes out of.” username=”millennialeb”]

Every. single. conversation. should have an action item at the end.

It’s how you keep things moving forward.

Thennnn, do the action item right after.

I like to do them sitting in my car before I drive off or if I get to my next destination with a few minutes to spare, I’ll do it while waiting.

Keep in mind, my absolute favorite way to add value is to make introductions.

It’s the easiest way to have a hugeeeee impact on someone’s life that takes you literally no effort.

For the sake of length of this post, I’m not going to get into alllll the details of following up after a meeting because I’ve written an entireeeee post about how to turn your new connections into real relationships that you can monetize.

Don’t forget, you can download the free meeting prep workbook right here:


No matter how many times you search networking tips for business, you'll never actually see your new connections turning into income until you build a relationship. In this article, you'll learn the five steps of a powerful networking meeting that will create new opportunities for you, your brand and your business. Click through to learn how to put it into action and to download the free workbook.

How To Ask For A Meeting (With Actual Examples)

Lean in a little closer… I have a secret to tell you.

The biggest mistake you can make when going to ask for a meeting is to make it about you.

[bctt tweet=”The biggest mistake you can make when going to ask for a meeting is to make it about you.” username=”millennialeb”]

Most amateur networkers ask for a meeting like this, “Hey ____, my name is ___. I just started ____ and I’d really like to network with you to see how we can be mutually beneficial.”

There are a few issues with that…

Firstly, you have no credibility… so what you want is irrelevant (sorry).

Secondly, if you’re brand new, the exchange of value isn’t going to be equal…  So what you’re really asking for is their time to get something out of them but probably won’t be able to contribute anything.

Thirdly, you haven’t given any context to HOW you can help each other.

Instead, I want you to focus on connecting, relating, offering value and going for an assumptive close.

 

Asking for a meeting after someone introduced you

Here’s an example of the introduction email that I got from someone…

Alexa, meet Maria.  Maria, meet Alexa. 
Alexa is easily the most entrepreneurial and enterprising leader of her generation.  In addition to her work as a realtor with Keller Williams she has founded Millennium Empire Builders, a leadership cultivation organization dedicated to helping Millenials achieve their full potential in their private and work lives.  She’s done amazing work in the Broward area and is now moving into Miami-Dade with her work.
Maria is a financial advisor at Morgan Stanley.  I met her through the New Leaders Task Force for the Beacon Council and can attest to her energy and drive.  She’s already made some inroads in our firm and has impressed a number of our associates with her skills and presentations. 
Maria lives in Miami-Dade but she works in North Dade/South Broward so it occurred to me that there would be significant synergies between the work you are both doing.  That and suspect you will simply enjoying developing a relationship with each other.  You’re both conquering the world in your own spheres. 
Go forth and be successful.
Best,
Jaret

[In this scenario, someone has made the introduction for you and probably already given you some context about each other. In this case, lean on the credibility of the person making the introduction and being that you don’t have a whole lot of context yet, you don’t need to try to sell the person since the introducer has already recommended that you guys meet and has given you a framework to build off of]

Here was my response:

Hi Jaret!
Thank you so much for the intro and the kind words! Always love meeting other Empire builders 🙂
Hi Maria!
Sounds like we have some chatting to do 🙂 I’d love to grab lunch or coffee to learn more about what you do and how I can be of service. Afternoons and evenings are usually best for me so shoot me over a few dates that work for you and we’ll coordinate from there!

To which Maria responded…

Good evening Jaret,
Thank you for that wonderful introduction. I really appreciate it!
Alexa, I would love to hear more about your accomplishments and get to know more of what you do. It all sounds very interesting! I’m free to do either lunch or drinks/coffee later in the afternoon on March 13th or March 15th. If those don’t work, I’m also available for dinner on March 21st or lunch April 4th. Let me know where your office is located. I work right on Las Olas but I’m flexible and we could pick a spot that is in between us. Look forward to hearing back from you and setting a meeting to meet in person.

It’s that simple… Don’t overcomplicate it.

[bctt tweet=”Don’t overcomplicate it.” username=”millennialeb”]

There are a couple of reasons why this was so easy…

  • The person who introduced us is well respected by both of us. If he makes a quality intro, I’m definitely reaching out ASAP.
  • He gave us context and a reason to connect.
  • I responded right away to acknowledge the connection and to go for an assumptive close (I mentioned that I’d like to have lunch and then assumed it was mutual, so I asked for specific dates and times)
  • She responded back with specific dates and times
  • Boom, done.

[bctt tweet=”Asking for a meeting with someone after an introduction is the easiest way to connect with someone because you can rely on the other person’s credibility.” username=”millennialeb”]

… but what if you want to meet with someone that you just met, but haven’t been introduced to?

Drum roll pleaseeeeee….

 

Asking for a meeting after you’ve made a new connection (that wasn’t an introduction)

In this scenario, you have a little less credibility because you haven’t had someone else vouch for you.

Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world…

You just have to be a little more strategic with how you ask for a meeting.

We’re going to assume that you’re asking for a meeting with someone that you’ve recently connected with.

Now let’s get down to business.

The biggest key here is to follow-up with them while they’re still hot.

Do.

Not.

Wait.

A.

Century.

To.

Follow.

Up.

With.

Them.

… and when I say “while they’re still hot”, I mean ASAP, like within 12 hours.

If you meet them at an evening event, follow-up that night or the morning after.

If you meet them in the morning, reach out by the end of the day.

I hate to break it to you but you’re not as memorable as you think… So if you don’t follow-up right away, their interest in reconnecting with you starts to wane.

[bctt tweet=”You’re not as memorable as you think… So if you don’t follow-up right away, their interest in reconnecting with you starts to wane.” username=”millennialeb”]

The faster you follow-up, the more likely you are to get the response you’re looking for.

[bctt tweet=”The faster you follow-up, the more likely you are to get the response you’re looking for.” username=”millennialeb”]

Oh, and I know I mention this in like every post, but you have to earn the right to ask…

That means if you just tossed your card at them and collected theirs but didn’t have any meaningful conversation when you met them, you haven’t earned the right to reconnect with them yet.

By the time you took their information, you should’ve had a meaningful conversation where you know at least 3 things about them.

In fact, I wrote a wholeeee post about how to exchange business cards to make following-up wayyyy easier.

So, now that you’re ready to go for the ask, how do you actually do it?

Very carefully.

Just kidding… Sort of.

 

Your follow-up should include a few elements…

  1. Thank them for their time.
  2. Give them context about why you should follow-up the conversation
  3. What you’d like to come out of the meeting
  4. A general timeframe

Here’s a few different examples of me asking for a meeting…

(ps. Don’t stress over the subject line of the email… “Following up” is literally one of the most opened email subjects in the history of ever)

[bctt tweet=”‘Following up’ is literally one of the most opened email subjects in the history of ever” username=”millennialeb”]

 

Example 1. Asking A Potential Mentor and Sponsor For A Meeting

Luis came to speak at one of our workshops before and now that we just launched our Miami chapter, I wanted to reconnect with him but since I don’t have a whole bunch to offer him, I offered to make an introduction before I asked for the meeting. Here’s the email chain for you (prepare for a bunch of “he said” and then “I said” lol):

Hi Luis!
Hope all is well 🙂
Not sure if you remember me but you came to speak for my young professionals last year about how local politics works.
I met a gentleman who’s heavily involved in the Government Contractor’s Association recently and instantly thought of you!… His organization teaches small businesses how to secure government contracts and being that you work in the lobbying field, I figured you might be interested in speaking for them and could possibly get a few clients out of it since that’s right up your alley.
Let me know if you’d like me to make the connection 🙂

I never want to come across as a taker, so I always like to open a cold follow-up with some sort of value first… and 9 times out of 10, that’s an introduction (more on that in another post). Literally five minutes later, I got this response…

Alexa, 
So good to hear from you.
Thank you for thinking of me.  Please make the connection.

Which lead to…

Hi Again!
Awesome… Will do right now!
Also, would love to grab a quick lunch or coffee with you… We also just started our Miami chapter and would love to pick your brain about connecting with the Miami community since it’s a wholeeee different beast than Broward!
I’m sure you have a TON going on so just let me know what your schedule is like for the next week or so and I’d be happy to accommodate… If Wednesday works, I’ll already be in the area. Otherwise, I’ll work around your schedule 🙂

And thennnn…

Hello back!  I’m unavailable next Wednesday.
How about Monday or Tuesday next week?  I’m available from 1:30-2:30pm on both days.
Cheers.

Easy as that.

A few key takeaways here…

  • If it’s a cold person, offer value first. That value can come in the form of an introduction, book recommendation, article, check-in, whatever. I don’t usually just go for the cold close because even if they agree, they’ll question your motives.
  • Once you’ve offered value, don’t be afraid to go for the ask. In Luis’ case, I know that he knows his shit and he likes to do workshops. He’s a lobbyist so I knew that the connection would be valuable for both Tony (the guy from GCA) and Luis. I also know that he likes to mentor, so “picking his brain” is a hugeee compliment to him.
  • Give them an option to say no while still going for an assumptive close. Yup, that sounds counter productive but I promise it works. By acknowledging that he’s super busy and that I would work around him, I’m showing how much I respect his time and that I’m not going to waste it. At the same time, I’m already assuming he’ll say yes so I gave him a few options.

 

Example 2. Following Up With A Potential MEB Member

Oscar came to one of our social events…

Hi Oscar!
Just wanted to reach out and thank you for coming to our mixer at the Wilder! It was so much fun meeting you and I’m curious to hear more about what your working on and how I might be able to help so I’d love to grab lunch or coffee sometime next week!
Afternoons and evenings generally work best for me, so let me know what works for you!

In talking to tonssss of young professionals, I know that they are alwayssss open to a great, intellectually stimulating conversation. Seriously, ask a group of young professionals if they’d like to hang around more “like-minded” people and almost every one of them will raise their hands. With that in mind, I always focus on THEIR goals and how I can help THEM. I don’t even mention MEB or trying to get them to join.
His response:

Hi Alexa, 
Thank you for following up. 
I can do lunch on Tuesday if you are available. I will be in the Cooper City area in the morning and can possible meet you Broward Mall area after. 
Let me know! 

There you go.

Asking for a meeting isn’t difficult… Focus on how you can help and get out of the mindset that you’re “bothering” them.

[bctt tweet=”Focus on how you can help and get out of the mindset that you’re ‘bothering’ them.” username=”millennialeb”]

If you REALLY are coming from a place of helping and contributing value, your request to meet will be totally welcome.

[bctt tweet=”If you REALLY are coming from a place of helping and contributing value, your request to meet will be totally welcome.” username=”millennialeb”]

After you meet with them, your work isn’t done… You’ve got to stay in touch.

I put my eight-week email follow-up plan together just for you and you can download it right here:
Email followup template
When you're new to networking, figuring out how to turn new contacts into actual relationships starts with the one on one networking meeting... and getting there isn't rocket science. With a few quick tips, you'll be connecting with people in no time!
Asking for a networking meeting doesn't have to be complicated. In this post, you'll learn exactly how to ask for a meeting without feeling salesy or pitchy and what to say in your emails.

How To Create A Powerful Networking Follow-Up Plan

Once you meet someone new, your goal is to establish and KEEP mindshare.

Our brains can only carry 1-2 brands in our minds at a time to a specific thing.

In real estate, 88% of people say that they’ll do business with their previous realtor again but don’t because the realtor doesn’t keep in touch.

If I asked you to name a brand of potato chips, a car, a sports team, or pretty much anything else, you’ll find the first two (or maybeeee three) come at the snap of a finger… Beyond that, your answer will probably start with

“ummmm…”

After you meet someone, your goal is to steal that top spot in their mind for whatever your brand does.

Now if you only follow-up once, we have their attention for all of 0.00002 seconds. It takes us about 7 times of seeing something or someone before we recognize it and are ready to take action.

With that in mind, we’re going to follow-up eight times over eight weeks (or what we call an 8×8).

Before you freak out about overwhelming people, those follow-ups (touches) are going to be diversified so you’re not calling them eight times and they won’t feel like you’re harassing them.

I know this can seem overwhelming, so I created a FREE workbook to help you put it into action:

 

Touch 1: Send a Handwritten Note

I know I know, this might sound a little “extra”, but that’s the point.

How often do you get mail that’s not a bill?

Unless you shop like a crazy person online, you probably don’t.

Our goal is to make them feel important.

The more people you can make feel important and help reach their goals, the more people who will help you and the faster you’ll get to yours.

[bctt tweet=”The more people you can help reach their goals, the faster you’ll get to yours.” username=”millennialeb”]

With a handwritten note, you’re showing them that they’re important enough for you to take the time out of your day to write the note.

The note doesn’t have to be anything fancy….

It can be something as simple as, “Hi Erica! It was so nice to meet you at the event at American Social. It was so fun chatting with you about our workout routines. I’m looking forward to connecting with you again and learning more about your goals. In the meantime, should you ever have any questions regarding real estate or otherwise, please feel comfortable enough to reach out. I’m always here to help!”

Again, the goal is to blow. their. mind.

No one else does this.

They won’t forget you.

They can’t.

Just a few pro tips:

  • Write in blue ink instead of black. There’s something psychological about blue ink that brings happy feelings.
  • My favorite notecards are from Notecard Cafe because they’re cheap, beautiful and you can customize the color of the envelope. My branding is teal, so my envelopes are teal. With that in mind, my goal is to make sure that when someone sees a teal envelope, they know it’s from me. Pick a color that represents your brand and stick with it.
  • Buy stamps by the roll. If you have the envelopes and stamps on hand, you’re a million times more likely to do it. When I first started doing this, I’d write the notes and they’d sit in my car until I had to throw them away or re-write them because they’d been bent, stepped on or had fingerprints all over them. Keep the stamps on hand. You can thank me later.
  • Make a habit of ALWAYS doing it the day after a networking event. If you wait two days or longer, you’re more likely to forget or start coming up with reasons not to sit down to write them.

 

Touch 2: Send a Follow-Up Email or Text

Have email, notecard and text templates ready for your follow-ups.

If you have to think, you’re wayyyyy less likely to do the follow-ups so templates make it insanely easy to plug it in, customize it for the person and do the follow-up.

I prefer to connect with people in person, so I usually invite people to lunch, brunch, happy hour or some other event… So you’ll want to have a follow-up template so you don have to figure out how to word it every time.

I use Calendly to integrate with my calendar so they can pick whatever time works best for them to connect.

I use Contactually CRM because the system is built to help you follow-up with your existing network in a beautiful, easy to use way and it gives you the ability to easily use templates. I also have text templates with my social media info so that I don’t have to go digging for it.

The more templates you use, the easier your follow-ups will be.

Oh, and a quick pro tip: just because you use templates doesn’t mean you can’t make your follow-ups personal. Use the template and jazz it up for each person with a little p.s. at the end.

 

Touches 3, 5 and 7: Send An Item of Value

Touches 3, 5 and 7 should be items of value related to whatever you’re trying to gain mindshare for…

So as a realtor, I have an 8×8 for future buyers, an 8×8 for future sellers and an 8×8 for regular “newly mets”.

For buyers and sellers, those 3 items of value are mailed to a physical address and they’re quick cheat sheets that answer the questions most buyers will usually ask. For the regular newly mets, the touches are simply connecting them with someone, inviting them to an event and asking how I can help them.

 

Touches 4, 6 and 8: Call Them

For touches 4, 6 and 8, you’re going to call them to check up on them… Here’s my favorite script:

“Hey Sam, this is Alexa, your favorite realtor. Just checking in to make sure you got the __ that I sent you? [Yes, I got it.] Great! Did you have any questions that I can answer for you? [If they’ve said I’m thinking about buying or selling in the next year or so, I ask a third question] Have you given anymore thought to your purchase/sale OR is that home purchase/sale still in the plans for you?”

By keeping it super simple and only having two or three questions for them, you get to learn about their motivation and what they need… and you’re WAY better positioned to give them exactly what they need, rather than spending all your time and energy trying to sell them on something they don’t even really want or need.

The more you have to think, the less likely you are to do all of this, so you should have some sort of system to remind you when to follow-up with people. I love Contactually but there are also SUPER low-tech ways to do this too.

 

Staying In Touch Beyond the 8×8

Beyond the 8×8, you’ll want to continue to keep in touch with them. Just because you currently have mindshare, doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll be able to keep it. You’ll need to continue staying in touch so that you’re always their go to resource.

Business cards are meant to be like a key to unlock a relationship. It’s the beginning of a relationship, not the end.

If you don’t follow-up and keep in touch, all of your efforts into networking will have been wasted.

… and truthfully, following-up is the hardest part of networking.

Following up doesn't have to be hard or scary. With a simple system and lots of contribution, your follow up emails, calls and texts will be anticipated.

Get More Of What You Want By Understanding Personality Styles

You know when you’re spending a lot of time with someone and the “spark” turns that flame into grey, dull ash?

The little things that you didn’t even notice before start to drive you absolutely insane.

Chances are, that’s probably because your personality styles just aren’t compatible.

… And it’s not your fault.

Personality styles take a HUGE part in our compatibility with our significant others, families, friends and coworkers.

[bctt tweet=”Personality styles take a HUGE part in our compatibility with our significant others, families, friends and coworkers.” username=”millennialeb”]

 

The Purpose of Personality Styles

Personality styles give you a general feel for how that person deals with situations, processes their feelings, handles problems and how they view the world.

[bctt tweet=”Personality styles give you a general feel for how that person deals with situations, processes their feelings, handles problems and how they view the world.” username=”millennialeb”]

It’s sort of like understanding their values and making sure they align with yours.

So now, whenever someone comes into my life as a potential significant other, employee, team member,coworker or otherwise, I have them take the DISC.

I always tell them that it’s just for fun but I really want to see how compatible we actually are and if there are going to be any points that we’re going to have issues so I know ahead of time.

Before you get overwhelmed with all of the styles, I created a cheat sheet that breaks down the must-know characteristics of each personality style, teaches you what motivates them and how to communicate with them.

You can download it fo’ free right here:

 

What You Need To Know

Before we get into the nitty gritty details of each personality styles, I just want to make sure that we’re on the same page about a few things…

Whenever I talk about personality styles, a lot of people get defensive and say something like, “but I’m all four!”

… and you are absolutely right!

We all have varying degrees of each of the four styles… We generally lead with one of the styles in our relaxed state and then revert to another under pressure.

[bctt tweet=”We generally lead with one of the styles in our relaxed state and then revert to another under pressure.” username=”millennialeb”]

That’s not to say you can’t have traits of the other two, they just aren’t your dominant style.

My natural state is a driver personality and under pressure I become an expressive… That means that by nature, I’m task driven and focused on results. Under pressure, I get more social, friendly and spontaneous.

There are four types of personality styles and we all fall into them differently.

There’s no such thing as a right or wrong, we’re all just a little different.

By the way, I am not saying that you can’t deal someone with a personality style that’s not naturally compatible with yours… You’re just going to have to work a little bit harder at understanding each other and being able to look past those incompatibilities.

It’s also rare to find two people with the same personality styles in a relationship or being able to work together… Generally, you’ll find that happy couples are the ones who’s personalities balance each other’s rather than being identical.

Lastly, we’re more than just our personality style.

We’re also driven by our basic needs and our core values, which you can check out right here:

But you’ve gotta start somewhere, and personality styles will give you a great foundation for understanding human behavior.

Let’s get started…

 

Personality Style Breakdown

D (Driver) Personality

Plain and simple, the driver personality is driven by results.

[bctt tweet=”Plain and simple, the driver personality is driven by results.” username=”millennialeb”]

They’re competitive, like to win and they are usually direct and to the point. Emotions aren’t usually going to be a high on their list of things when they’re making decisions and they’ll generally have a strong and aggressive tone.

Some of the other personality styles assume that drivers don’t have feelings because of their intense nature, which totally isn’t true… Drivers just aren’t driven by their emotions.

Their deepest fear is to have their time wasted or to be taken advantage of and while this isn’t always cut and dry, you can generally spot a driver by the way they carry themselves.

The driver personality will talk fast and loud, be direct, forceful and will likely be dressed in solid colors (or small patterns) and sharp lines.

Relationship With Another Driver: Given the fact that drivers like to win, there will be a lot of competition in this relationship. Some of it will be fun and in good humor, while other situations will be straight up competition when they should be working together. Neither of them are driven by emotion and they likely won’t waste each other’s time. Both are decisive and like to win, so compromising may be a challenge in this relationship.

Relationship With An Expressive: It’s very common to see someone be an expressive by nature and a driver under pressure or vice versa so they will see a lot of similarities with each other. Both are dominant personalities. Where they differ is that the driver personality is the doer and the expressive is the dreamer. The driver may get frustrated with the expressive when they’re focused on a task at hand and the expressive wants to be spontaneous or when the expressive keeps dreaming but doesn’t take action. On the other hand, the expressive may get frustrated with the driver because they aren’t driven by emotion and don’t care to articulate how they feel.

Relationship With An Amiable: The Driver is tell-based and task-based, and the amiable is ask-based and people-based. These two communicate differently, look at life differently and will have a hard time being in rapport with each other. Generally, the driver gets impatient with the amiable and the amiable feels pressured and stressed in the presence of a driver.

Relationship With An Analytical: Both of these personality styles are task based so they’ll be able to understand each other. The driver is the doer and the analytical is the analyzer. The point of contention here will be how quickly things can get done. The driver will have to work on their patience with the analytical who needs to gather all of the information to make the best decision and won’t act under pressure.
The purpose of learning about the personality styles is so that you can be more versatile in dealing with them.

[bctt tweet=”The purpose of learning about the personality styles is so that you can be more versatile in dealing with them.” username=”millennialeb”]

There’s a ton of info to remember here, so get the one-page cheat sheet right here:

 

I (Expressive) Personality

Expressives LOVE people and they’re the type you’d consider to be natural born salespeople and the life of the party.

[bctt tweet=”Expressives LOVE people and they’re the type you’d consider to be natural born salespeople and the life of the party.” username=”millennialeb”]

They’re fun, energetic, can get people together and get them motivated.

Yup, they can be impulsive, love the spotlight and are big dreamers…. And yes, they don’t always think their decisions all the way through so if you’re the person who needs to deal in facts, expressives are going to drive you up a wall.

They’re super passionate in their expression of their emotions so that means they’re going to love passionately… But you better watch out because they’ll also get upset passionately and feel anger deeply.

Their deepest fear is not being liked or being rejected.

You’ll know an expressive when you see one because the room will light up a little when they walk in.

[bctt tweet=”You’ll know an expressive when you see one because the room will light up a little when they walk in.” username=”millennialeb”]

Expressives are known to be loud and energetic, talk a lot and tend to dress a little more flashy.

Before you jump to conclusions and assume that anyone who talks a lot is an expressive, listen to what they’re talking about… If they’re talking about ideas, people, experiences or dreams, you’re right. However, if they’re talking about tasks and details, you’re probably talking to an analytical.

Relationship With A Driver: It’s very common to see someone be an expressive by nature and a driver under pressure or vice versa so they will see a lot of similarities with each other. Both are dominant personalities. Where they differ is that the driver personality is the doer and the expressive is the dreamer. The driver may get frustrated with the expressive when they’re focused on a task at hand and the expressive wants to be spontaneous or when the expressive keeps dreaming but doesn’t take action. On the other hand, the expressive may get frustrated with the driver because they aren’t driven by emotion and don’t care to articulate how they feel.

Relationship With Another Expressive: Both of the people in this relationship like to be in the spotlight. They both enjoy being the center of attention and will likely have tons of energy and passion together. The challenge that two expressives will have together is that they are both impulsive and tend to be dreamers so they have have issues based on the decisions that are made by their partner. When making decisions, they may do so on impulse without having considered all of the consequences of their decisions.

Relationship With An Amiable: It’s very common to see an amiable and an expressive together. The expressive brings the energy, the passion and the fire while the amiable brings the cool, calm and level-headed attitude. Together, they really do balance each other out. They are both people based and will likely maintain great relationships with their friends and families.

Relationship With An Analytical: Analyticals and expressive go together as well as…. peanut butter and tomato sauce. I hope your face cringed a little bit — that was the most incompatible relationship I could think of. Similarly to the driver/amiable relationship, these two are just SO different. The expressive is impulsive, energetic and social while the analytical is driven by cold, hard facts. Expressives will get frustrated with the fact that analyticals don’t allow them to dream and will question their abilities while analyticals will stress over the fact that their expressive partner is so unpredictable.

Get the cheat sheet right here:

 

S (Amiable) Personality

While the expressive loves everyone, everyone loves amiables.

They don’t care for the spotlight and instead prefer to have one on one relationships.

They don’t like confrontation and are service-oriented to avoid rocking the boat. Think peace and harmony… They’re level-headed and even tempered.

The amiable can also be indecisive because they don’t want to rock the boat with anyone because their deepest fear is not being liked.

Amiables will open up once they get to know you and trust is a HUGE thing for them… They’re a little harder to spot because they prefer to be the listeners and the thinkers than the talkers.

As for attire, they tend to dress in deeper colors and softer fabrics.

Oh, and just a heads up… They’re usually last to order at a restaurant!

If they’re hard to read, they’re probably an amiable.

[bctt tweet=”If they’re hard to read, they’re probably an amiable.” username=”millennialeb”]

Relationship With A Driver: The Driver is tell-based and task-based, and the amiable is ask-based and people-based. These two communicate differently, look at life differently and will have a hard time being in rapport with each other. Generally, the driver gets impatient with the amiable and the amiable feels pressured and stressed in the presence of a driver.

Relationship With An Expressive: It’s very common to see an amiable and an expressive together. The expressive brings the energy, the passion and the fire while the amiable brings the cool, calm and level-headed attitude. Together, they really do balance each other out. They are both people based and will likely maintain great relationships with their friends and families.

Relationship With Another Amiable: Because of their relaxed, non-confrontational and people pleasing manner, two amiable together will feel comfortable because they’re able to be themselves without any pressure. That, however, is a blessing and a curse. When it comes time to make decisions, both are slow to decide and like to know what the other one is thinking… So things will move a bit slower in this relationship.

Relationship With An Analytical: It’s very common to see someone be an amiable in their relaxed state and an analytical under pressure. These two together will find a lot of commonalities between each other. The challenge that these two will face together is that they are slow to act and may find themselves missing opportunities because of it.

 

C (Analytical) Personality

The analytical personality is just that — analytical.

They take their time making decisions and like to know all of the information before they do anything because they’re driven by a fear of being wrong, which is why they need to analyze so much information and take so long to make decisions.

Analyticals tend to talk a lot but will focus on details, facts and specifics rather than people or ideas like the expressive.

[bctt tweet=”Analyticals tend to talk a lot but will focus on details, facts and specifics rather than people or ideas like the expressive.” username=”millennialeb”]

When it comes to attire, they’ll be formal in their demeanor and will be perfectly dressed for the occasion (because they googled “what do I wear to [type of event]?”)

I also jokingly say that the analytical will never have bad credit because they’re so risk adverse.

Relationship With A Driver: Both of these personality styles are task based so they’ll be able to understand each other. The driver is the doer and the analytical is the analyzer. The point of contention here will be how quickly things can get done. The driver will have to work on their patience with the analytical who needs to gather all of the information to make the best decision and won’t act under pressure.

Relationship With An Expressive: Analyticals and expressive go together as well as…. peanut butter and tomato sauce. I hope your face cringed a little bit — that was the most incompatible relationship I could think of. Similarly to the driver/amiable relationship, these two are just SO different. The expressive is impulsive, energetic and social while the analytical is driven by cold, hard facts. Expressives will get frustrated with the fact that analyticals don’t allow them to dream and will question their abilities while analyticals will stress over the fact that their expressive partner is so unpredictable.

Relationship With An Amiable: It’s very common to see someone be an amiable in their relaxed state and an analytical under pressure. These two together will find a lot of commonalities between each other. The challenge that these two will face together is that they are slow to act and may find themselves missing opportunities because of it.

Relationship With An Analytical: Because of their detail-oriented nature, they’ll be comfortable knowing that their level of risk is lower than any of the other personality styles. In a relationship, they’ll be able to think everything through on their own time. The challenge here is that ‘paralysis by analysis’ is a real thing. With two analyticals, neither one of them will be the one to pull the trigger so opportunities will come and go before they’ve made a decision on it.
It’s a lot of information, I know… That’s why I’ve created this cheat sheet for you to help you keep track of each of the personality styles.

Go ahead and download it free right here: