Everything in your life is there because you allow it to be there.Everything in your life is there because you allow it to be there. Click To Tweet
If someone is treating you like shit, it’s because you allow them to.
If your company isn’t growing as fast as you would like, it’s because you’re not taking massive action or you’re not being effective.
If you feel like you just can’t get your life together, it’s because you haven’t committed to creating powerful habits to keep everything together.
If your relationship is failing, it’s because somewhere along the way, you stopped doing the things that made you relationship successful in the first place.
If your life sucks, it’s because you’re choosing to only see the negativity in the world.
Even if you weren’t directly responsible for the things that happened to you, you are directly responsible and in control of what happens next.
I get it… Being a victim is easy.
You don’t have to DO anything to be a victim, you just have to exist.Being a victim is easy because you don't have to do anything except exist. Click To Tweet
… But having a victim mindset drains you.
It drains your relationships because people get tired of hearing about how the world is against you and being a victim leaves you in a state of hopelessness.
You see, hopelessness doesn’t come from being in a bad situation. Hopelessness comes from being in a bad situation and feeling like there’s nothing you can do to fix it.
Hopelessness is a victim’s mindset.Hopelessness is a victim's mindset. Click To Tweet
Now, the first step to fixing your mindset is realizing that you’re stuck in the mindset.
In fact, you may not even realize you have a victim’s mindset…
We have about 90,000 thoughts in a day and 95% of them are the same habits we had yesterday and the only thing that can change that is for something to happen to break that thought pattern.
There are three decisions we’re making at any given time that shapes our thought patterns…
… What are you going to focus on?
… What does this mean?
… What are you going to do?
Tony Robbins gives the PERFECT example of this.
Watch the first five minutes.
… and I know what you’re thinking… “That’s too long.”
“That’s too long.”
Watch it. You’ll thank me later.
The moral of the story is that Tony accepted the stranger’s offering as an act of kindness and treated it with gratitude.
His father (with his victim mindset) treated it as an act of charity and treated it as an insult.
Do you see how a simple change in perception can change pretty much anything?
So let’s talk about the different ways that your victim mindset might be showing through…
Victim Mindset: Not Asking Questions + Accepting Things The Way They Are
The easy way is to accept things the way they are and accept them at face value.
Have you ever said something that someone perceived differently than you meant and then wouldn’t let it go?
That’s exactly what you’re doing every time something happens and you automatically assume the worst.
I know, I know…
When you don’t ask questions and just let your mind do the wandering, you don’t have to worry about confrontation because you accidentally pissed someone off for asking the wrong question and you don’t have to worry about accidentally over committing.
You just accept it the way it is.
Let me ask you…
How many hours have you spent overthinking something and then coming up with a story about that thing that happened?
Yep… Stop doing that.
The problem with not asking questions is that it leaves you assuming… and you know what they say happens when you assume…
You make an ass out of u and me.
Instead, try this…
Ask powerful questions that seek to bring clarity.
Your questions shouldn’t be passive aggressive or out of sarcasm, you should be asking out of complete curiosity.
When you “assume innocence” and give people the benefit of the doubt, chances are, you’ll find that whatever they said or did wasn’t meant the way you percieved it.
When you ask powerful questions and bring clarity to the seemingly complex, your relationships will start to blossom and become more genuine and you will inevitably start to be seen as a leader.
In the post I wrote about how my epic failure made me a better leader, I wrote all about the questions I’ve learned to ask those I lead which has MASSIVELY changed my relationships:
Want to know the secret?
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- Why taking ownership instead of placing blame gives you the power to change a situation
- How to stop making excuses and start taking action
- How to start looking for solutions instead of problems
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