Get More Of What You Want By Understanding Personality Styles

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You know when you’re spending a lot of time with someone and the “spark” turns that flame into grey, dull ash?

The little things that you didn’t even notice before start to drive you absolutely insane.

Chances are, that’s probably because your personality styles just aren’t compatible.

… And it’s not your fault.

Personality styles take a HUGE part in our compatibility with our significant others, families, friends and coworkers.

Personality styles take a HUGE part in our compatibility with our significant others, families, friends and coworkers. Click To Tweet

 

The Purpose of Personality Styles

Personality styles give you a general feel for how that person deals with situations, processes their feelings, handles problems and how they view the world.

Personality styles give you a general feel for how that person deals with situations, processes their feelings, handles problems and how they view the world. Click To Tweet

It’s sort of like understanding their values and making sure they align with yours.

So now, whenever someone comes into my life as a potential significant other, employee, team member,coworker or otherwise, I have them take the DISC.

I always tell them that it’s just for fun but I really want to see how compatible we actually are and if there are going to be any points that we’re going to have issues so I know ahead of time.

Before you get overwhelmed with all of the styles, I created a cheat sheet that breaks down the must-know characteristics of each personality style, teaches you what motivates them and how to communicate with them.

You can download it fo’ free right here:

 

What You Need To Know

Before we get into the nitty gritty details of each personality styles, I just want to make sure that we’re on the same page about a few things…

Whenever I talk about personality styles, a lot of people get defensive and say something like, “but I’m all four!”

… and you are absolutely right!

We all have varying degrees of each of the four styles… We generally lead with one of the styles in our relaxed state and then revert to another under pressure.

We generally lead with one of the styles in our relaxed state and then revert to another under pressure. Click To Tweet

That’s not to say you can’t have traits of the other two, they just aren’t your dominant style.

My natural state is a driver personality and under pressure I become an expressive… That means that by nature, I’m task driven and focused on results. Under pressure, I get more social, friendly and spontaneous.

There are four types of personality styles and we all fall into them differently.

There’s no such thing as a right or wrong, we’re all just a little different.

By the way, I am not saying that you can’t deal someone with a personality style that’s not naturally compatible with yours… You’re just going to have to work a little bit harder at understanding each other and being able to look past those incompatibilities.

It’s also rare to find two people with the same personality styles in a relationship or being able to work together… Generally, you’ll find that happy couples are the ones who’s personalities balance each other’s rather than being identical.

Lastly, we’re more than just our personality style.

We’re also driven by our basic needs and our core values, which you can check out right here:

But you’ve gotta start somewhere, and personality styles will give you a great foundation for understanding human behavior.

Let’s get started…

 

Personality Style Breakdown

D (Driver) Personality

Plain and simple, the driver personality is driven by results.

Plain and simple, the driver personality is driven by results. Click To Tweet

They’re competitive, like to win and they are usually direct and to the point. Emotions aren’t usually going to be a high on their list of things when they’re making decisions and they’ll generally have a strong and aggressive tone.

Some of the other personality styles assume that drivers don’t have feelings because of their intense nature, which totally isn’t true… Drivers just aren’t driven by their emotions.

Their deepest fear is to have their time wasted or to be taken advantage of and while this isn’t always cut and dry, you can generally spot a driver by the way they carry themselves.

The driver personality will talk fast and loud, be direct, forceful and will likely be dressed in solid colors (or small patterns) and sharp lines.

Relationship With Another Driver: Given the fact that drivers like to win, there will be a lot of competition in this relationship. Some of it will be fun and in good humor, while other situations will be straight up competition when they should be working together. Neither of them are driven by emotion and they likely won’t waste each other’s time. Both are decisive and like to win, so compromising may be a challenge in this relationship.

Relationship With An Expressive: It’s very common to see someone be an expressive by nature and a driver under pressure or vice versa so they will see a lot of similarities with each other. Both are dominant personalities. Where they differ is that the driver personality is the doer and the expressive is the dreamer. The driver may get frustrated with the expressive when they’re focused on a task at hand and the expressive wants to be spontaneous or when the expressive keeps dreaming but doesn’t take action. On the other hand, the expressive may get frustrated with the driver because they aren’t driven by emotion and don’t care to articulate how they feel.

Relationship With An Amiable: The Driver is tell-based and task-based, and the amiable is ask-based and people-based. These two communicate differently, look at life differently and will have a hard time being in rapport with each other. Generally, the driver gets impatient with the amiable and the amiable feels pressured and stressed in the presence of a driver.

Relationship With An Analytical: Both of these personality styles are task based so they’ll be able to understand each other. The driver is the doer and the analytical is the analyzer. The point of contention here will be how quickly things can get done. The driver will have to work on their patience with the analytical who needs to gather all of the information to make the best decision and won’t act under pressure.
The purpose of learning about the personality styles is so that you can be more versatile in dealing with them.

The purpose of learning about the personality styles is so that you can be more versatile in dealing with them. Click To Tweet

There’s a ton of info to remember here, so get the one-page cheat sheet right here:

 

I (Expressive) Personality

Expressives LOVE people and they’re the type you’d consider to be natural born salespeople and the life of the party.

Expressives LOVE people and they're the type you'd consider to be natural born salespeople and the life of the party. Click To Tweet

They’re fun, energetic, can get people together and get them motivated.

Yup, they can be impulsive, love the spotlight and are big dreamers…. And yes, they don’t always think their decisions all the way through so if you’re the person who needs to deal in facts, expressives are going to drive you up a wall.

They’re super passionate in their expression of their emotions so that means they’re going to love passionately… But you better watch out because they’ll also get upset passionately and feel anger deeply.

Their deepest fear is not being liked or being rejected.

You’ll know an expressive when you see one because the room will light up a little when they walk in.

You'll know an expressive when you see one because the room will light up a little when they walk in. Click To Tweet

Expressives are known to be loud and energetic, talk a lot and tend to dress a little more flashy.

Before you jump to conclusions and assume that anyone who talks a lot is an expressive, listen to what they’re talking about… If they’re talking about ideas, people, experiences or dreams, you’re right. However, if they’re talking about tasks and details, you’re probably talking to an analytical.

Relationship With A Driver: It’s very common to see someone be an expressive by nature and a driver under pressure or vice versa so they will see a lot of similarities with each other. Both are dominant personalities. Where they differ is that the driver personality is the doer and the expressive is the dreamer. The driver may get frustrated with the expressive when they’re focused on a task at hand and the expressive wants to be spontaneous or when the expressive keeps dreaming but doesn’t take action. On the other hand, the expressive may get frustrated with the driver because they aren’t driven by emotion and don’t care to articulate how they feel.

Relationship With Another Expressive: Both of the people in this relationship like to be in the spotlight. They both enjoy being the center of attention and will likely have tons of energy and passion together. The challenge that two expressives will have together is that they are both impulsive and tend to be dreamers so they have have issues based on the decisions that are made by their partner. When making decisions, they may do so on impulse without having considered all of the consequences of their decisions.

Relationship With An Amiable: It’s very common to see an amiable and an expressive together. The expressive brings the energy, the passion and the fire while the amiable brings the cool, calm and level-headed attitude. Together, they really do balance each other out. They are both people based and will likely maintain great relationships with their friends and families.

Relationship With An Analytical: Analyticals and expressive go together as well as…. peanut butter and tomato sauce. I hope your face cringed a little bit — that was the most incompatible relationship I could think of. Similarly to the driver/amiable relationship, these two are just SO different. The expressive is impulsive, energetic and social while the analytical is driven by cold, hard facts. Expressives will get frustrated with the fact that analyticals don’t allow them to dream and will question their abilities while analyticals will stress over the fact that their expressive partner is so unpredictable.

Get the cheat sheet right here:

 

S (Amiable) Personality

While the expressive loves everyone, everyone loves amiables.

They don’t care for the spotlight and instead prefer to have one on one relationships.

They don’t like confrontation and are service-oriented to avoid rocking the boat. Think peace and harmony… They’re level-headed and even tempered.

The amiable can also be indecisive because they don’t want to rock the boat with anyone because their deepest fear is not being liked.

Amiables will open up once they get to know you and trust is a HUGE thing for them… They’re a little harder to spot because they prefer to be the listeners and the thinkers than the talkers.

As for attire, they tend to dress in deeper colors and softer fabrics.

Oh, and just a heads up… They’re usually last to order at a restaurant!

If they’re hard to read, they’re probably an amiable.

If they're hard to read, they're probably an amiable. Click To Tweet

Relationship With A Driver: The Driver is tell-based and task-based, and the amiable is ask-based and people-based. These two communicate differently, look at life differently and will have a hard time being in rapport with each other. Generally, the driver gets impatient with the amiable and the amiable feels pressured and stressed in the presence of a driver.

Relationship With An Expressive: It’s very common to see an amiable and an expressive together. The expressive brings the energy, the passion and the fire while the amiable brings the cool, calm and level-headed attitude. Together, they really do balance each other out. They are both people based and will likely maintain great relationships with their friends and families.

Relationship With Another Amiable: Because of their relaxed, non-confrontational and people pleasing manner, two amiable together will feel comfortable because they’re able to be themselves without any pressure. That, however, is a blessing and a curse. When it comes time to make decisions, both are slow to decide and like to know what the other one is thinking… So things will move a bit slower in this relationship.

Relationship With An Analytical: It’s very common to see someone be an amiable in their relaxed state and an analytical under pressure. These two together will find a lot of commonalities between each other. The challenge that these two will face together is that they are slow to act and may find themselves missing opportunities because of it.

 

C (Analytical) Personality

The analytical personality is just that — analytical.

They take their time making decisions and like to know all of the information before they do anything because they’re driven by a fear of being wrong, which is why they need to analyze so much information and take so long to make decisions.

Analyticals tend to talk a lot but will focus on details, facts and specifics rather than people or ideas like the expressive.

Analyticals tend to talk a lot but will focus on details, facts and specifics rather than people or ideas like the expressive. Click To Tweet

When it comes to attire, they’ll be formal in their demeanor and will be perfectly dressed for the occasion (because they googled “what do I wear to [type of event]?”)

I also jokingly say that the analytical will never have bad credit because they’re so risk adverse.

Relationship With A Driver: Both of these personality styles are task based so they’ll be able to understand each other. The driver is the doer and the analytical is the analyzer. The point of contention here will be how quickly things can get done. The driver will have to work on their patience with the analytical who needs to gather all of the information to make the best decision and won’t act under pressure.

Relationship With An Expressive: Analyticals and expressive go together as well as…. peanut butter and tomato sauce. I hope your face cringed a little bit — that was the most incompatible relationship I could think of. Similarly to the driver/amiable relationship, these two are just SO different. The expressive is impulsive, energetic and social while the analytical is driven by cold, hard facts. Expressives will get frustrated with the fact that analyticals don’t allow them to dream and will question their abilities while analyticals will stress over the fact that their expressive partner is so unpredictable.

Relationship With An Amiable: It’s very common to see someone be an amiable in their relaxed state and an analytical under pressure. These two together will find a lot of commonalities between each other. The challenge that these two will face together is that they are slow to act and may find themselves missing opportunities because of it.

Relationship With An Analytical: Because of their detail-oriented nature, they’ll be comfortable knowing that their level of risk is lower than any of the other personality styles. In a relationship, they’ll be able to think everything through on their own time. The challenge here is that ‘paralysis by analysis’ is a real thing. With two analyticals, neither one of them will be the one to pull the trigger so opportunities will come and go before they’ve made a decision on it.
It’s a lot of information, I know… That’s why I’ve created this cheat sheet for you to help you keep track of each of the personality styles.

Go ahead and download it free right here: