Outgrowing your friends doesn’t make you a bad person and don’t let anyone make you feel differently.
In every stage of our lives, we make friends because of similar interests or circumstance.
When we were in middle school, we made friends with people who were in our classes, lived in our neighborhoods or were on our buses…
In high school we made friends with people who played the same sports as us, went to the same gym as us and were around us regularly…
In college, we made friends with people who went to the same parties, participated in the same organizations, stayed in our dorms and had the same classes or majors as us.
At each turn, you might find a friend or two that sticks around through each stage of your life but most won’t… and that’s perfectly ok.
As your lives change, you lose the commonalities that brought you together in the first place.
That doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or wrong with them, you just started to grow apart.
I had a group of girlfriends in college that I was super close with… and we started to grow apart because we really didn’t have anything in common anymore.
When we would hang out, I wanted to talk about Millennial Empire Builders (which was called South Florida Young Professionals at the time) and real estate.
Both of those topics were genuinely of no interest to them and because I wasn’t around that much anymore, I started to feel like an outsider when we would all get together.
Some of them even tried to make me feel guilty for not being around as much which stuck a wedge into our relationship even further.
It sucks but it happens.
Outgrowing your friends isn’t a bad thing.
Changing Your Circle Is A Good Thing
If you’re constantly around the same people, your world, opportunities and perspective get really small.
You start to dress alike, talk alike, think alike and care about the same things… Life becomes routine and you become content.
The group comes to a consensus on what “success” is, what “failure” is, what behavior is acceptable and even your values start to align with each other…
It’s sort of like how women’s cycles synchronize when they hang around each other too much (sorry guys, I know how much you love when we talk about that time of the month).
This synchronizing happens in teeny tiny interactions that you don’t even realize have an impact on your own mindset.
Those interactions go something like this…
Let’s say you workout every day at 5am.
You start hanging out with people who go out more often so they’re like “oh come on, you can come out with us and still get up early to go to the gym… Come out with us!”
You all have a great time so you start to do it more often… and eventually, your body starts to fight back and you remember that sleep is actually a mandatory thing your body needs.
You don’t want to ruin your new friendships so you miss a gym day here or there…
Which breaks your routine and you start to go less and less. Before you know it, you’ve gained weight and you’re wondering what happened when you used to be so good about it. You try getting back into it but it’s wayyyy harder than you thought.
After all, breaking a habit takes like 0.02 seconds and building a habit takes about 66 days (as evidenced by the book ‘The One Thing’ by Gary Keller).
You don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late.
Changing your circle of friends allows this to happen in reverse, too.
Your new friends can push you to build new, good habits too…
Let’s say you’re a salesperson who does well enough to get by comfortably….
When you start hanging around mega’s who are doing millions of dollars in sales, your level of action and mindset will change and grow, too.
The people that you hang around are the single most important decision that you’ll ever make in your life.
Want to know the secret?
Grab the Empire Builder Pass to get the full length version of this post and you’ll learn:
- How not to get people around you to grow…and how to inspire them to
- The types of people to prioritize in your life
- Why you can’t drag people to come with you on your path of success
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